Man complaining about the price of stamps
Famed grammar nazi, pedant, and grumpy old git Brian Asshat has revealed, to nobody's great surprise, that, due to the price of stamps, he will not be sending out any Christmas cards. He told us, 'I know a lot of people, but I don't like most of t...
Read full storyNashville Man Trips Over Loose Ends
Never known for his attention to detail, 32-year-old Cal Chester of Nashville, Tennessee, went sprawling as the result of some untended-to loose ends, but ultimately came out ahead of the dating game and now plans to tie the knot. "What an roller...
Read full storyYoung Woman 'Highly Aggravated' And 'Upset' That Having Two Part-Time Jobs While Going To School Will Prevent Her From Cheating On Her "Dullard" Boyfriend
Upset, burned-out, and "extremely pissed off' that she currently has very little time to spend precious and intimate moments with the older, married man who sincerely intrigued her three weeks ago during a drunken conversation outside of The Casino B...
Read full storyBrad Pitt Has A Shit
In a huge coincidence some exponents of Cockney rhyming slang will find it somewhat difficult to believe, Hollywood film star, Brad Pitt has had a shit. Pitt, 45, has long had his name used in association with the act of defecation, as in: "She...
Read full storyBritain's roads no longer safe for lesbians says Sir Cliff Richard
Pop icon, Sir Cliff Richard, last night slammed Britain’s Department of Transport for failing to deal adequately with what he sees as the crisis on Britain's roads with regard to lesbians. Speaking at a rally attended by thousands of elderly fans,...
Read full storyTwitter Deletes President Trump's Account
Twitter has said that, "in response to thousands of requests worldwide", it has disabled the account of President Donald Trump, and will not be reinstating it. The unexpected move follows a user backlash, a day after the social network announced p...
Read full storyThanks To Be Given For Thanksgiving
News has just reached us that, later today, Thursday 28 November, thanks are to be given for Thanksgiving. When everyone has woken up and gotten out of bed, that is. That's nothing unusual, of course. Thanksgiving, the one day in the year wi...
Read full storyLawmakers make it a crime to be black in many US states
Lawmakers in many US states, after growing tired of inmates blaming their arrests on their race, have finally made being a member of a minority group a crime. So now, when inmates allege that they are only in prison due to their race, prison official...
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