Young Woman 'Highly Aggravated' And 'Upset' That Having Two Part-Time Jobs While Going To School Will Prevent Her From Cheating On Her "Dullard" Boyfriend

Written by Wesley Janson

Thursday, 28 November 2019

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Men are to blame for everything!

Upset, burned-out, and "extremely pissed off' that she currently has very little time to spend precious and intimate moments with the older, married man who sincerely intrigued her three weeks ago during a drunken conversation outside of The Casino Bar in La Crosse, Wisconsin, Natalie Clemens, 24, had nothing but complaints about 'life' last Thursday.

Finding it extraordinarily difficult to weave intricate "spider-webs" of control as well as unforeseen, unfathomable, and highly severe amounts of emotional devastation due the fact that she is currently working at a gas station and a Barnes & Noble while desperately trying to finish online, academic courses for being a nurse, Natalie stated that the time constraints she has to deal with keep blocking her from being 'unfaithful' to the boring and pathetic university undergraduate she started dating last September.

"He just wants to be a historical archaeologist because he has this 'lame' idea that artifacts from the past can reflect on our current society," she stated before receiving a message on her Smartphone from her "bad-ass" lover that he was totally nude and ready to be used while his loving wife was "out-of-town."

"My current boyfriend, Brad, tries to tell me that excavations in old sites (both internationally and locally) could be exciting in the future and that they may be archived for further research," she added upon ultimately confessing that his intellectualism just makes her want to drive her fingernails into his forehead, pull his face completely off his head, and then rip his beating heart out of his chest while watching him bleed to death before pushing him down a flight of stairs.

"I really wish that I hadn't gotten drunk and then 'reverse cowgirl-style' fucked him in the middle of a random stairwell," she confessed.

Disturbed and perplexed that playing a double-game with the affections of numerous men... and that running in between lovers will be more difficult in the future with an additional job and all of its complex details...Natalie then roared (in behemoth-like fashion) that she will be an independent, liberal woman in the future, that she will abide by the ideals of extreme feminism, and that her current, manipulative slaughtering of innocent souls will not matter in the future.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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