Alabama Rot Spreads To Governor’s Mansion
Montgomery, Alabama - (Reuterus): The discovery of a parasitic disorder similar to Mad Cow Disease in Kay Ivey’s sumptuous gubernatorial mansion has been identified as Alabama Rot according to a report in Doghouse News. Also known as sub-cute-anus...
Read full storyYoung Man's Death Deemed Non-Tragic Suicide
After 22-year-old Jake Pruitt of Queens, New York, was found dead in his bathtub, his wrists slit and bloody, police officers officially deemed his death a non-tragic suicide. "He really didn't have much going for him," said New York Police Chief...
Read full storyCounty Joe's 'Fixin' To Die Rag' From Woodstock Rebooted For Our Modern Iran Dilemma
Back in the height of the Vietnam era, a little ditty made it onto the airwaves that protested the undeclared war in a darkly humorous way. It was called “I Feel Like I'm Fixin' To Die Rag” by Country Joe and the Fish, and it became a theme for the w...
Read full storyPep Guardiola Had 'A Lump In His Throat' For Watford At Final Whistle
Victorious Manchester City coach, Pep Guardiola, has said he had a lump in his throat "the size of a Seville orange" at the end of the FA Cup final, after his team had trounced underdogs, Watford, 6-0 at Wembley Stadium. City outclassed the Hornet...
Read full storyAn Article About Sex
Sex is a sensitive subject, and can arouse vastly different feelings in people, from one person to another. Some people are very straight-laced, and can become outraged when sex is mentioned, believing it to be a bedroom topic. Other people th...
Read full storyArnold Schwarzenegger Attacker Awarded Necklace
Arnold Schwarzenegger has been assured that the man who attacked him at a sporting event in South Africa yesterday, has already been dealt with, and won't be seeing the light of day again. Arnie, 71, was in Johannesburg to promote his Arnold Class...
Read full storyBurned-Out Male Factory Worker Purposely Gets On Treadmill So That Voluptuous, Upper-Class Women Using Elliptical Machines Behind Him Can Look At The Bald Spot On His Head
La Crosse, Wisconsin. In a desperate effort to "get himself out there," 39-year-old, sexually-frustrated, Brad Harper got on a treadmill last Friday at 3:45 pm so that the gorgeous, voluptuous, upper-class women using the elliptical machines behind...
Read full storySan Francisco wealthy experiencing the came back and bit you on the ass syndrome
As the wealthy know, being wealthy and getting away with it is a very good thing--but there could be a problem. Wealth tilts out at the other end to a non-wealth homeless-getting-worse problem, and an economic system gone to sleep. But of cours...
Read full storyCalifornia Officials to Blow up Oroville Damn!
UPDATE: CALFISH is now evacuating the Salmon from below the Damn. According to spokes-fish Hal A. Bight, the fish, and their human worshippers, are stealthily exiting for high ground. “We like water, but a 100-foot wall of it moving at seventy-...
Read full storyElton John Carried Offstage In Copenhagen After Watford FA Cup Annihilation
Sir Elton John had to be helped off the stage during a concert in Copenhagen last night, as updates he was receiving about the scoreline from the FA Cup final match at Wembley Stadium between Watford and Manchester City were making him more and more...
Read full story