Renault Remoaner - Our Motoring Correspondent's Review
Inital Impressions Good to drive, and seems fairly reliable. First impressions are good but quickly fade due to overbearing cruise control that steps in when you least need it. Controls are simple, as everything is remote-controlled from a shady o...
Read full storyPolitics as a Car Review
Welcome to what we hope will be a series from our new motoring correspondent. He has a wealth of experience with crashing things, talking crap down the pub, and almost wrote a letter to Top Gear once. To get things started, we asked him for a quic...
Read full storyMeat-Lover Sends Thoughts and Prayers to Suffering Farmed Animals
"Just because I eat meat doesn't mean I don't care about animals," said Josh Driscoll of Nashville, Tennessee. "I hate when people stereotype me just because I enjoy a good steak. Vegans are so judgmental." Driscoll went on to explain that every t...
Read full storyGoober shakes up the self-driving car market
Chandler, AZ - Dick Weede, spokesperson for Goober ride service, announced today the firing of all their human drivers, at a small press conference at Chandler Fashion Center. “We solved the last issues with self-driving cars. We used to have to...
Read full storyHundreds Of U.S. Border Guards Desert Their Posts And Flee To Canada
In response to overwhelming job stress, social oppression and poor working conditions, hundreds of ICE (U.S. Immigration and Customs Enforcement) officials and workers have streamed in hastily put together caravans to the Canadian border seeking asyl...
Read full storyClairvoyant Cockroach Predicts End Of Mayan Civilization
BILLINGSGATE POST: If you live long enough, the odds are that you should be right about something at least once. If the World should end tomorrow, somehow, at least one cockroach would survive. These two statements can run parallel to each other...
Read full storySpoof Writer Admitted To Hospital After Site Crashes
A man was admitted to hospital last night suffering from what medical staff described as 'withdrawal symptoms', after the website he writes pointless stories for, mysteriously crashed. Moys Kenwood, 55, arrived at Hull Royal Infirmary in a state o...
Read full storyNew York Man Finds Peace and Tranquility by Gazing at Imprisoned Sea Animals in Glass Tank
Like many in New York City, 42-year-old Chris Lowell has a stressful life with a long work commute, dead-end job, and strained family relationships, but he finds enormous peace and tranquility by gazing at imprisoned sea animals in a glass tank in hi...
Read full storyDid "The Garlic" Knock The Spoof Offline?
The Spoof's Secret HQ. Somewhere in Cyberland. For the third time in a week, The Spoof was again offline for nearly two days, keeping anxious readers from their favorite writers and fake news of the day. While previous outages had been attributed to...
Read full storyGirl Had Six Toes
A teacher in a school in Bangkok had the fright of his life recently when, listening intently to what a girl standing by the side of his desk was saying, and looking downward so as to focus his concentration on her words, he became aware that she had...
Read full storyFather's Day Card In Card Shop Window Raised Questions
A man wandering aimlessly past a card shop window during his break, saw a card which made him double-take, then triple-take, tut, shake his head as he became incredulous, and then walk away thinking "fucking silly cunts!" Moys Kenwood, 51, noticed...
Read full storyLiverpool Plastic Fans Scheme Membership Soars
Liverpool Football Club have released details of their new Plastic Fans Scheme, and say advance enquiries have caught their Anfield administration department on the hop. Fresh from their Champions League success, and a brilliant Premier League cam...
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