Ocasio-Cortez Is Thinking (Out Loud) Again
Rep. Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez (AOC) is still considered a freshman in the House of Representatives but talks like a seasoned veteran in the arena of national politics. Believing that our system is totally flawed, she proposes revolutionary ideas almo...
Read full storyJeffrey Epstein Invites Women’s Soccer Team To His Mansion
BILLINGSGATE POST: After turning down offers to visit the White House and the International House of Pancakes, the U.S. Women’s Soccer Team accepted an offer from Jeffrey Epstein to visit his mansion in New York City. A ticker-tape parade through...
Read full storyTV Guide 11 July
19:00. Evening Brunch. Adrian Boring and Sally Smile present the weekly magazine programme. Today, the latest in umbrellas, and how to clean your kettle. 20:00. Arse Clinic. Join the team at St Rectum's Hospital as they attempt to fix a prolapse,...
Read full storySir Kim Darroch Falls On His Sword, And Will Not Be Available For Tiffin
The UK ambassador to the United States, Sir Kim Darroch, who attracted some rather negative criticism from the White House, and President Donald Trump in particular earlier today, has fallen on his sword. Darroch's leaked memo to Prime Minister Th...
Read full storySerious Man Acknowledges Ridiculous Nature of Life
After decades of rarely even cracking a smile, serious-minded Brett Carwyle of New York City, someone never known for his sense of humor, finally came to acknowledge the ridiculous nature of life. “It’s a shit-show,” said Carwyle, grinning and sha...
Read full storyThe Wind in the Boris
"Hello, my furry wumpkin friend," said Boris. "Shall we go a-rowing down yonder river? With Mole and Squirrel and that Slut. Tally-ho, splendid! "I'm to be made top chief at Boris Hall, have you heard? They're going to crown me with gold. To be ho...
Read full storyTrump Repeals Newton's Laws of Thermodynamics
Science Town, USA President Donald Trump has announced at a press conference that he's just heard about Newton's Laws of Thermodynamics. He said, "Who is this Newton guy? He's not even American and he's setting laws for the American people? I had my...
Read full storyMan Got Soap In His Eye
It's a bather's worst nightmare - lathering up during a nice, warm shower, smearing soap into every nook and cranny of your aching body, and then, without realizing it, slapping a lump of the soap into your eye - an experience we could all do without...
Read full storyTrump Announces He Will Convert Government Into a Reality Show
Mar-O-Lago, FL President Donald Trump made an announcement at his latest press conference: "I understand why everybody's mad at me, and in a bad mood, and making up fake news and all. It's because there hasn't been any good TV entertainment progra...
Read full storyMan Is Absolutely Sick And Tired Of Having To Wish His Facebook 'Friends' Happy Birthday
A man who set up an account on Facebook almost three years ago, but hardly ever posts anything on it, is well and truly sick to death of receiving 'notifications' that tell him to wish one or another of his so-called Facebook 'friends' a happy birthd...
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