Man Got Soap In His Eye

Written by Monkey Woods

Wednesday, 10 July 2019

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Soap suds in the 'eye' - painful

It's a bather's worst nightmare - lathering up during a nice, warm shower, smearing soap into every nook and cranny of your aching body, and then, without realizing it, slapping a lump of the soap into your eye - an experience we could all do without!

And thus it was yesterday evening in the bathroom of one tired Englishman as he rushed to get clean before his tea was put on the table by his long-suffering wife.

"By Christ! It stung like fuck!" he said later, whilst wolfing down the meal.

"Do you have to swear like that?" asked his wife.

Marginally embarrassed, he explained:

"It's for emphasis."

His wife was unimpressed.

"I don't know about your eye, but you should try shoving some soap in your mouth, and giving it a fucking good scrub!" she advised.

Police are not investigating.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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