Man Decides To Get Everything Off His Chest
A man who has been keeping his cards close to his chest with regard to several areas of his life that are giving him concern, has decided to come clean, and share his problems with others he knows he can trust. M*** K****** (name changed to protec...
Read full storyTory Knocking Shop Pimps Out Douchesse De Corbin
London - (Sassy Ass Mess): A Westminster purveyor of knobs and knocker knock-offs has rolled out its eagerly-anticipated 2019 brass neck collection from the revamped Douchesse de Corbin street door range. Douchesse is thought to have been named a...
Read full storyEmperor Qin Shi Trump Builds China's Great Wall
Peiping, China. 220 BC By executive order - which is the way emperors usually do things - Emperor Qin Shi Trump today began construction of a 5000-mile wall along China's border with the Mongolian steppes. Opposition to construction ceased when their...
Read full storyVatican Temporarily Sanctions American Suicide
In a gesture of solidarity with politically-despondent Americans, the Vatican has announced that for the duration of Donald Trump's presidency, suicide by Americans will not be considered a mortal sin disqualifying them from eternal salvation. "We...
Read full storyPut Your Head Up Your Ass (Simple Donald Says!)
Put your head up your ass (Simple Donald says) Shake your fists all about (Simple Donald says) Do it when Donald says (Simple Donald says) And you will never be out (Simple Donald says) I'd like to play a con That is so much fun And it's not...
Read full storySears to Merge with Upscale 99 Cent Store
Sears Tower, Chicago. Edward Lampert, hedge fund manager and the largest stockholder in Sears, Roebuck and Co., today announced that his company's 400-plus stores would remain open under a deal he just negotiated with the nation's largest cut-rate do...
Read full storyPresident Trump Meeting With Nancy Pelosi Ends Amicably Enough
President Donald Trump stormed out of a meeting with senior Democrats yesterday, after disagreements arose on a variety of topics. The meeting, in the Situation Room, a conference centre in the West Wing basement, was, primarily, to talk about fun...
Read full storyJeff Bezos Divorce Proves Money Can't Buy Happiness
The world's richest man, Amazon boss, Jeff Bezos and his wife, MacKenzie, are to divorce after 25 years of marriage, proving, without a shred of a doubt, the old maxim that money can't buy you happiness. Bezos created the multinational technology...
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