London - (Sassy Ass Mess): A Westminster purveyor of knobs and knocker knock-offs has rolled out its eagerly-anticipated 2019 brass neck collection from the revamped Douchesse de Corbin street door range.
Douchesse is thought to have been named after a well-known Irish Potato Famine-era courtesan - once described by Pevsner** as having ‘a face like a tasty Pommes Douchesse’ mashed spud dish.
Hailing her Westmonster debut at the Tories’ SWI flagshit store at teatime, a taxi driver, who asked to be anonymous, said, “Where there’s muck, there’s brass and there’s louche Douchesses.”
More Kensington Palace Tart Shop delicacies are expected soon.
** Dave P Pevsner, expert on King Edwards
