California Passes Law Granting Full Legal Rights to Those who Identify as Animals
California Legislature has just passed the Furry Acceptance Act, a law that, among other things, requires furries to be admitted to local zoos, and Governor Jerry Brown signed it into law this morning. To those in furry communities, this is a maj...
Read full storyFBI Report on Kavanaugh gets Sir Speedy Award for 'no-stone-unturned' investigation
Ordered to further investigate Mr. Kavanaugh over a six day period, the FBI is now up for the Sir Speedy DDI (“due diligence investigation”) Award for 2018. The award is reputed for its “no-stone-unturned” and “no-keg-ignored” approach to Supreme...
Read full storyThe Emergency Emergency Budget
*Warning May Contain Strong Language* Smug Tory fuck bag, Phillip Hammond, has admitted he’s preparing a “emergency budget” if Theresa May lives up to her early promise and sends Britain crashing out of the EU with “no deal”. Sources close to P...
Read full storyCannibals To Be Looked After Post-Brexit With Stockpiling of Human Body Parts
People who eat people will "not be forgotten about" after Brexit, sources say. Following the revelations earlier this year from Brexit minister Dominic Raaaaab that the Government is stockpiling food and medicine in case of a No Deal, it has now b...
Read full storyManchesters Marketing Reach
As crisis club Manchester United lurch from one disaster to another on the pitch, their marketing team have been adding dozens of feathers to their already impressively-feathered cap. Moments after United’s impressively-tepid 0-0 draw with Valenci...
Read full storyBird With Big Tits To Be Next Conservative Leader
In the fall-out of Prime Minister Theresa May's dancing debacle in Kenya last month, leading Conservatives have said that what's needed to carry their party forward, and to keep 'in step' and 'in tune' with the Great British public, is a woman with h...
Read full storyFootball Gossip: Mourinho, Villa, Kanye West
Following news that Manchester United faces UEFA charges over their late arrival for the Valencia home Champions League game, coach Jose Mourinho has been forced to deny that his team refused to leave the dressing room until he promised to say nice t...
Read full storyTechnical Manual Writer Feels That He Is Past His Prime
Minnesota. News reporters rushed to the home of Jonathan Smith last Tuesday, after he allegedly told trusted friend and co-worker, Susan Clemens, that he felt he was past his prime as a writer and that it was time to move on with his life. Jonath...
Read full storyMan "Very Disappointed" With Richard Dawkins Book, 'The Blind Watchmaker'
A man who returned to the UK recently, and bought a pristine secondhand copy of Richard Dawkins' book 'The Blind Watchmaker' for 50p from a charity shop, told today of his 'absolute disappointment' in the purchase, and how he now wishes he hadn't bot...
Read full storyTheresa May Banned From Entering Kenya Ever Again
In what is being treated as a 'purely symbolic action', British Prime Minister Theresa May has received a lifetime ban from Kenya. May visited the African country in September to try and smooth the way for future trade deals between Britain and Ke...
Read full storyTrump Claims That 2 + 2 = Beef; PolitiFact Rates it “Half-True"
WASHINGTON D.C. - In a White House presser, President Donald Trump angrily railed against Democratic lawmakers. He spouted, “These Democratic thugs... they want you to believe everything they say! Well, I say that they're all a bunch of huge liars! T...
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