Theresa May Banned From Entering Kenya Ever Again

Written by Monkey Woods

Friday, 5 October 2018

image for Theresa May Banned From Entering Kenya Ever Again
Baden-Powell regards May with disgust

In what is being treated as a 'purely symbolic action', British Prime Minister Theresa May has received a lifetime ban from Kenya.

May visited the African country in September to try and smooth the way for future trade deals between Britain and Kenya, and met several locals during her stay.

At one stage of her mini-tour, visiting a local UN office in Nairobi, she watched a display of local dancing with some scouts, and - perhaps unwisely - decided to join in. The world watched the incident unfold, stunned, horrified, unable to help or to intervene, like witnessing a car crash in slow motion. Time Magazine voted it No. 1 in the 'Top 11 Most Embarrassing Moments Of All Time'.

Kenyan officials reacted angrily to what they saw as a belittling of Kenyan tradition by the first British leader to go to the country for 40 years. President Uhuru Kenyatta has since told the British government that May is no longer welcome in Kenya, and that any attempt to enter Kenya would be resisted with force.

The scouts, furious, composed a song about her visit straight after she'd left.

May! May! Keep away!
Don't come back another day!
Not by car, and not by plane!
Or we'll eat your fucking brain!

Mrs May was, thankfully, unavailable for comment.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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