Trump And Putin’s Dirty Linen

Written by K.C. Bell

Tuesday, 12 June 2018

image for Trump And Putin’s Dirty Linen
"Yes, I did it!"

No, not that dirty linen from the bed at the Moscow Ritz-Carlton. That linen has been cryogenically frozen, preserved under lock and key, like the shroud of Turin, to be thawed and used as proof to blackmail Trump; if Putin finds it necessary...

No. The real political dirty linen, the one that Robert Mueller is momentarily about to jettison any month now; the one whispered about behind closed doors; the one newscasters say, looking straight into the cameras with feigned confusion, asking, “Why is Trump playing so nice and sweet with our adversaries like Putin, while screwing with smug delight all of our allies? Even sweet Canada?”


Canada, the nation located between the United States and the Arctic. The gentle place up north that Trump thinks invaded the United States and burnt down the White House. The nation with the tall, dark and handsome Prime Minister Trudeau, who Trump’s daughter admired like a Hermes scarf, but no sale.

The Trump, Putin dirty linen is obvious. The deal simple. Putin would win the White House for Trump using Russian hackers, and Trump would move to drop all the sanctions the EU imposed on Russia for annexing Crimea, destabilizing eastern Ukraine, shooting down a passenger plane and hacking into the US elections.

Trump ends up with the White House, Air Force One, all the food he can eat, and Russian money to build a Trump tower anywhere in the world. Cha-Ching.

Simple: tit for tat.

However, if Trump were to renege, Putin would say, “Ty che, blyad?” (Not a Canadian term.)

And as certain as the sun rises every morning in the east, the bed linens from the Moscow Ritz-Carton Hotel would slowly begin to thaw… Sad!

Putin will denounce the traitorous Russian hackers who colluded with Wikileaks, Assange, Donald Jr., Manafort, Kushner, Cohen, Stone, Stephanopoulos, Veselnitskaya, Blackwater’s Erik Prince, Carter Page, and the rest of the gang who worked to promote the illegal election of landlord Donald Trump.

Putin will announce his sincerest apologies to President Hillary Clinton, the United States, democracy, the free world, so on and so forth.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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