Leprechauns to control inner-Irish border

Funny story written by T. Loaf

Tuesday, 12 June 2018

Brussels chief negotiator Michel Barnier and UK Prime Minister Theresa May have at last broken the deadlock in the Irish border issue. Brexit Minister, David Davis, has conjured up a new proposal which has been welcomed and approved by his counterparts in Dublin.

Leprechauns are to be commissioned to control the future border between the Irish Republic and Northern Ireland post-Brexit.

"Indeed," explained Leo Varadkar, Irish Prime Minsiter, "this sounds rather mischievous, but it fits. Great stuff. Whenever things look hopeless, you can always rely on our little people. They and their heritage are in fact protected by a European directive of 2016. So how appropriate that they can now return a favour."

"I was contacted personally by Leprechaun delegates, Eoghan O'Donnel and Callum Fitzpatrick," explained the Brussels representative, "and they outlined the work of their brethren. Tasks are executed very discretely. That's good. We want as little fuss as possible at the border, and yet there must be some monitoring. Should any tariffs or custom payments arise, these will be deposited under the great white stone at the end of the rainbow. So, no problem there. Simple, really. Wonderful solution."

The agreement still has to be passed through the Lords, but David Davis was confident the concept would be accepted. "There's a great deal of sympathy for folklore in the Upper House," he said.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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