Former Hollywood madam Heidi Fleiss opens up about Chinese Year of the Whorse
Parhump, Nevada - "A lot of Chinese hookers will be spending the year on their backs once again," retired multimillionaire ex-brothelkeeper Heidi Fleiss predicted today, "after wasting most of the Year of the Snake just sitting on their dumpy little...
Read full storySpoof reporter almost gets his n**ts in a twist and thrown off a f**king balcony
According to spokespersons for Representative Michael Grimm (R-NY), he did not follow up threats to NY1 reporter Michael Scotto with similar threats to a Spoof reporter. However, a representative for Spoof reporter Pepe Warezabar states the case d...
Read full storyDenver Pothead Players to stage new production of Raymond Chandler's 'The Bong Goodbye'
Denver, Colorado - The 1953 drama has been given a modern day twist by Denver's newly formed theatrical troupe, the Pothead Players, who will perform their own take on Chandler's famous classic from Valentine's Day next month. Adapted for the stag...
Read full storyGOP Gives Astonishing, Super Duper Obama Rebuttal
Tuesday evening, Rep. Cathy McMorris Rodgers (R-WA) was tabbed by the Republican Party to deliver their official response to President Obama's State of the Union address. It would seem that Republicans wanted a woman to deliver this response to try...
Read full storyButt-Slapping Replaces Knock-Out Game!
An old familiar athlete butt-slapping after a good play is taking over from the Knock-Out game that was the recent trend. "This is great", stated pimply nerd at a local high school. "I'm tired of getting knocked out. So he sneaks over and slaps a nice-looking young lady on the butt and she knocks him out. "Most guys think the new game is a lot better and some of the ladies say they don't...
Read full storyOhio Snowmageddon Swallows Up Entire Dairy Queen In Cleveland
MINNEAPOLIS - The home office of the Dairy Queen restaurant chain is reporting that one of its stores in Cleveland, Ohio has been completely covered up by snow. Columbus Vee, a spokesperson for the ice cream and hamburger franchise, stated that he...
Read full storyBrit Bank refuses to hand out savers own money!
One of Britains leading banks have decided to stop handing out savers own money if they cannot explain what they are going to do with their own money! Larger amounts of their customers own money is being kept because most banks are a bunch of ti...
Read full storyDuck Dynasty's Phil Robertson Makes A Political Statement
MONROE, Louisiana - Phil Robertson, the patriarch of the Robertson family of Duck Dynasty fame, says that he feels that he has now become as popular as Peyton Manning, Ryan Seacrest, George Clooney, and even Regis Philbin. He revealed to local rep...
Read full storyUS Senators in fact finding mission to UK's House of Lords Rifle Range
Washington - A delegation of 46 United States Senators who famously rejected proposals last year for gun background checks will be visiting an exclusive shooting gallery in the basement of the British Parliament's upper house, the House of Lords, ne...
Read full storyDuck Dynasty's Robertson Star Of State of Union
WASHINGTON - The house chamber was packed last night with special guests for President Obama's State of the Union Address. Included was the long-bearded star of the controversial show "Duck Dynasty" Willie Robertson, which has been noted for the hom...
Read full storyCounterfeit containers flooding the country
Port authorities at Dover and Southampton have been put on high alert when it was discovered that counterfeit containers have been flooding the country for years. "We noticed it a couple of weeks ago," said customs officer, Ian Land. "There was Ma...
Read full storyCalifornia High Schools Make A Landmark Decision Regarding Sex Education Classes
SACRAMENTO, California - The state of California has always prided itself as being in the forefront when it comes to education. California high schools have in recent years gone from concentrating mostly on non-academic activities such as cheerlea...
Read full storyMcDonald's Says No To The Idea of Placing Big Mac Vending Machines In Macy's Department Stores
OAK BROOK, Illinois - The world's largest fast food franchise has addressed the idea it had been developing regarding Big Mac vending machines. Company spokeswoman Nancy Zabeletta told the news media that the company had been toying with the idea...
Read full storySeveral Sports Publications Have Named Richard Sherman of The Seattle Seahawks as The Worst Rodel Model In The NFL
NEW YORK CITY - There is no doubt in anyone's mind that Seattle Seahawks cornerback Richard Sherman is one of the biggest trash talkers in professional football. Even TNT color analyst Charles "Fat Mouth" Barkley, who was a big trash talker when h...
Read full storyCruise Line Passengers Become Sick After Piano Player Plays 17 Barry Manilow Songs In A Row
MOBILE, Alabama - Julie Pabst, a spokesperson for The Happy As Heck Ocean Tours based in Mobile, Alabama talked about the recent incident aboard their cruise ship The Seductress of The Sea. Miss Pabst, a strikingly attractive single blonde woman,...
Read full storyA Huge California Sinkhole Swallows Up Kirstie Alley's Food Pantry
HOLLYWOOD HILLS - Local authorities are investigating one of the biggest sinkholes in the history of LaLaLand. Officer Teddy Buffovich, 24, with the Hollywood Hills Police Department stated that overweight actress Kirstie Alley was home alone when...
Read full storyMinnesota Signs A Deal With Arizona To Take 800 Rail Cars Filled With Snow
MINNEAPOLIS - State Senator Stormy Waterbook [D-Minneapolis] has just informed the press that the state of Minnesota will be shipping 800 gondola rail cars filled with snow down to Arizona. The senator stated that the snow has been piling up and t...
Read full storyThe Weather Channel's Jim Cantore Says He Is Sick and Tired of The Word Snow
NEW YORK CITY - The meteorologist who is considered to be The Rock Star of Weather Jim Cantore recently talked with Durango Tucker of National Focus Magazine. Cantore who many say is more recognized than Rush Limbaugh has covered every type of wea...
Read full storyMadonna Said That Willie Nelson Invited Her To Visit His Tour Bus After The Grammy Awards Show
NEW YORK CITY - Madonna told Pia Confetti with Celebrity Globe Magazine that 80-year-old Willie Nelson confronted her backstage at the Grammy's and invited her to visit his tour bus for a bit of relaxation, Jack Daniels, and a joint or two. Madonn...
Read full storyNew Madrid Fault Could Cut U.S. Into Two Countries West & East!
If the New Madrid fault caused another earthquake as it did a couple hundred years ago, it could cut the United States into two regions. "I know it sounds weird but that is what nearly happened two hundred years ago and it's overdue for it to happ...
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