A Huge California Sinkhole Swallows Up Kirstie Alley's Food Pantry

Funny story written by Abel Rodriguez

Wednesday, 29 January 2014

image for A Huge California Sinkhole Swallows Up Kirstie Alley's Food Pantry
Kirstie said that this piece of cookie was the only thing left from her food pantry.

HOLLYWOOD HILLS - Local authorities are investigating one of the biggest sinkholes in the history of LaLaLand.

Officer Teddy Buffovich, 24, with the Hollywood Hills Police Department stated that overweight actress Kirstie Alley was home alone when suddenly at about 3:19 a.m. she heard a tremendous thud.

The former star of the TV sitcom Cheers said that the noise sounded a bit like her when she gets into one of her coughing spells.

She immediately got up from her bed and went downstairs to investigate.

As soon as she walked into the kitchen she noticed that her gigantic food pantry was gone.

She turned on some lights and saw that there was now a great big hole where her food pantry used to be.

Alley began crying and she said that it was about 12 minutes before she could stop long enough to dial 9-1-1.

When officers arrived they confirmed that her food pantry was like that famous Clark Gable Civil War movie, Gone With The Wind.

SIDENOTE: Kirstie said that luckily she does have insurance and so she will have the entire contents of her food pantry replaced including the 200 plus Hostess Twinkies.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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