CEOs Form Labor Union,"Justice For Capitalists"
CEOs and CFOs of major U.S. financial institutions have formed a labor union called "Justice For Capitalists." The new group is a pushback response to a movement among shareholders across the U.S. to take back executive salaries and bonuses whe...
Read full storyNASA Lunar Rover sends pics of Sea of Tranquility fracking rig
Nevada Desert - Lunar archaeologists at NASA's Area 51, Roswell HQ are studying images of what looks like a perfectly preserved antediluvian fracking rig parked on the crude-rich Mare Tranquillitatis basin. Dozens of pictures relayed by satellite...
Read full storyMcCutcheon decision generates Candidates 'R Us program with special discounts for purchasing blocks of representatives
New Candidates 'R Us store fronts are springing up in Washington with window posters featuring smiling congressional candidates. At times these window displays also feature goodlooking females in special uniforms designed with stars and stripes. T...
Read full storyTop Ten New Radio Formats
If you are sick and tired of "Brandy, You're A Fine Girl or "You're 16, You're Beautiful and You're Mine", you might want to try these new Radio Formats coming in the next month or so: 1. Bagpipes For Making Out 2. Amish Silence With Frog Calls and Crickets 3. The All-Night Static Station for those Who are Nostalgic 4. From Yoda To Yoko 5. Twilight Time for Transvestites 6.
Read full storyPresident Obama Assures Vietnam The US Will Defend Her If North Korea Attacks
WASHINGTON, D.C. - The White House has just announced that things are getting a little hot in Southeast Asia. The White House Press Corps was told that North Korea has vowed to attack Vietnam if one of its missiles is shot down by a Vietnamese mis...
Read full storyCalifornia To Hire 2,000 Earthquake Damage Inspectors
SACRAMENTO - Word filtering out of Governor Jerry Brown's office is that thousands of California citizens are greatly concerned with the hundreds of earthquakes that have been plaguing the Golden State lately. The governor has been advised by seni...
Read full storySecond Amendment Right To Bear Arms To Be Scrapped
The Second Amendment (Amendment II) to the United States Constitution which protects the right of individuals to keep and bear arms will be written out of the constitution at midnight. After reading the original minutes of the meeting, written dur...
Read full storyStrictly Not Ageist - Brucie Bows Out (Well Sort Of. . )
Producers of "Strictly" are desperate not to appear to have pressurised old Bruce Forsyth to go into semi retirement. "I always said to myself I'd know when the time came when it was time to go". He reminisced last week. "Could you face bingo and day...
Read full storyThe Los Angeles Lakers Hope To Convince LeBron James To Join The Purple and Gold
LOS ANGELES - Los Angeles Lakers owner Jeanie Buss is one very attractive and determined woman. She has just informed the Lakers Board of Directors that her top priority for 2014 is to acquire the services of LeBron James of the Miami Heat. Ms.
Read full storyLindsay Lohan Admits She Would Love To Marry Samantha Ronson
HOLLYWOOD - Lindsay Lohan says that she is starting to get the feeling that she may never marry. The 27-year-old actress who finally got her act together after a three month stay at a rehab clinic last summer recently spoke to Taffeta Kixx with Th...
Read full storyArizona Sheriff Joe Arpaio Explains Why He Said No To Dancing With The Stars
MARICOPA COUNTY, Arizona - The self-proclaimed Toughest Sheriff in America, Joe "Pinky" Arpaio has said that he turned down an offer to appear as a contestant on this season's edition of Dancing With The Stars. Sheriff "Pinky" Arpaio, received his...
Read full storyJustin Bieber's Mom Is Thinking About Disowning Him
LOS ANGELES - Pattie Mallette says that after just one week at The Henry & Betty Ford Rehab Clinic she is feeling a bit better. Mallette checked herself into the clinic due to the continuing immature behavior of her son pop idol Justin Bieber.
Read full storyRush Limbaugh Says Yellowstone National Park Needs To Be Condemned
NEW YORK CITY - Rush Limbaugh loves the fact that he has stolen the national spotlight from Donald "The Hairdo From Hell" Trump. El Rusho, as he is known in Mexico City, has just stated on his radio talk show that President Obama needs to do the r...
Read full storyEx French President on hard times
Nantes, France. Former French President, Nicholas Sarkozy, has suffered some setbacks since he lost the Presidential election two years ago. Friends of the ex leader say that he has been forced to sell his chateau in the south of France and also reli...
Read full storyColorado Gladly Welcomes All Of The Buffaloes That Are Stampeding Out of Yellowstone
DENVER - The governor of Colorado John Hickenlooper is thrilled at the fact that his state has just seen a tremendous increase in the bison population. Hundreds of Yellowstone National Park buffaloes have been stampeding south (into Colorado) due...
Read full storyVatican Visit - Queen Arrested for Money Laundering
The Queen was briefly interviewed by the Spanish Inquisition during the Royal Vatican Inspection last week it was revealed. After arriving at The Vatican with twelve articulated trucks full of dirty money and 4 Transits full of bedraggled swans inten...
Read full storyMichelle Obama Tells The President He Better Cancel His Trip To Denmark
WASHINGTON, D.C. - A White House source is reporting that the First Mama AKA Michelle Obama is pretty much fit to be tied regarding her husband's upcoming trip to Denmark. Mrs. Obama has reportedly told her husband in no uncertain terms that he be...
Read full storySomalian Pirates Announce They Now Have A Nuclear Weapon
NEW YORK CITY - American Spotlight Magazine has just stated that highly reliable sources have made it known that the rogue sea bandits known as The Somalian Pirates now possess a nuclear weapon. The source stated that the weapon of mass destructio...
Read full storyVietnam Vows To Shoot Down Any Missile That North Korea Launches
HO CHI MINH CITY, Vietnam - Vietnam has just informed the North Korean embassy in Ho Chi Minh City that it is finished with Kim Jong Un's missile threats. They have let North Korea know that the next missile that Kim Jong Un fires will most probab...
Read full storyMillionaire tricks CNN into stopping its Coverage of Missing Malaysian Plane
Dateline: ATLANTA--Elderly oddball millionaire, Huey Longbottom, shuns the internet and receives all of his news from CNN, but taking no interest in the missing Malaysian plane, which CNN has covered exhaustively for several weeks, Longbottom orchest...
Read full storyU.S. Hit By Record Earthquakes, Tremors & Volcano Activity
Although the size of the earthquakes are not too large, except the one in Los Angeles, the United States has been shaken by a record number of quakes and aftershocks this past month. Other parts of the world have been hit hard also so what is goin...
Read full storyNaked, Embarrassed Miley Cyrus Walks Off Stage After Two Songs
Miley Cyrus apparently got permission to do a performance while stark naked and was really excited about the shock effect this would have on her followers and her rivals. Instead, she sang just two songs, started a thid song and gave up, walking o...
Read full story