U.N. To Build Small Orbiting Planet
At first it was considered a wild rumor only. "We can't even get along here on the earth, how will we get together on one we build?" However, some of the things we are receiving from Edward Snowden shows that, for our own good, several major natio...
Read full storyWealthy Chinese Multi Billionaire Hires Houston to Build Safety Space Station
A spokesman for an unnamed multi-billionaire from Tawain has apparently agreed to pay specialists in Houston Space Center to build him and his family a safe, well-furnished self-supporting space station. "My boss has been watching our government g...
Read full storyLocal Man Killed By Farts At Dog Races
A local man from Orlando, Florida has cashed in his chips, hit the big one. He was Harry Poltus but most people just called him Doug. No one knows why. Doug had been betting on the dog races all his life and had developed a system where he would w...
Read full storyJustin Bieber: Looks to Me Like Everyone's Pregnant
Justin Bieber had some friend over and we him paid well to take a mike recorder with him because we knew the Bieber was up to no good. "The grown-ups would all come over and they'd talk and drink and I got sent to bed but I always sneaked back. Us...
Read full storyArea Man Proves Mother-In-Law Wrong, Even After She's Dead!
Sandy McIntosh says that if his old Mother-In-Law had held on for a few more years, I would have made her eat her words. Instead, the old Bat had to go and die on us at the nursing home where I had them exercising her everyday, even after hours after...
Read full storyLorax and Al Gore in Twitter War Over Earth Day
The Lorax and Al Gore have become engaged in a bitter war of words on Twitter as to who has done more for environmental awareness and the observance of Earth Day. The Former Vice-President threw down the gauntlet yesterday when he called Mr. Lorax a...
Read full storyNFL Still Won't Let Girls Play
New York City - The National Football League (NFL) has decided that they aren't going to let girls play during the 2014-2015 season. The NFL has made that same decision since the roots of its formation in 1920. The consensus of the owners of all 3...
Read full storyWest Africa Ebola Virus Makes Tybee Island Man Happy He Doesn't Live In Guinea, Wherever That Is
The Ebola virus that has killed scores of people in Guinea has one Tybee Island man feeling very relieved that he does not live in the tiny African Country. "I am glad I live in Tybee, and not in this place with this virus," said Gordon Morris, "I...
Read full storyPutin mug appears on new Crimean thruppeny bit
Chicken Kiev - Vlad the Dictator's image has appeared on Crimean coins commemorating his triumph in the 2014 Paralytic Games. The new decimal denomination sees the Russian Zloty replace the old Ukrainian Shekel in a move reflecting the annexation...
Read full storyMan Cheats On Wife With iPhone's Siri
After two children, one dog, and three cars, Raymond Jones (42) of Niagara Falls, NY has filed for divorce from his wife of 12 years Rebecca (37). In the fall of 2013 the eligible (for an upgraded cell phone) Raymond went to his local AT&T sto...
Read full storyCreationist Museum in Ky WIll Show Earth Is Flat
The Creation Museum, located in Petersburg, Kentucky, is operated by the Christian apologetics ministry, to promote a Young Earth creationist explanation of the origins of the universe based on a literal interpretation of the Genesis creation narrat...
Read full storyTybee Island Man Breaks Internet
Authorities believe that a Tybee Island man may have been responsible for the 5 minute outage that saw the World Wide Web shutdown and the internet broken across the globe. TJ Malone, a retired factory worker, who has been a resident of the backwa...
Read full storyThe Wuggles Trash Hotel Room
New Zealand's top children's music group The Wuggles have once again found themselves in legal trouble Monday, when they and several members of their extensive entourage were arrested for allegedly destroying a penthouse suite at a Las Vegas Hotel.
Read full storyMTV Denies They Placed Janet/Michael Jackson Duet On Air
The screen went silent , then suddenly there was Janet and Michael Jackson doing Janet's hit, "What Have You Done For Me Lately?" All over American people in their teens to their thirties began calling the network and each other. "What was that al...
Read full storyMary Jane Cosmetics Donates Pink Cadillac to Pygmies in Ituri Forest
A spokeswoman for the Mary Jane Cosmetics Company who have listed their write-off donations for tax purposes has sent a brand new Pink Cadillac to the "Little People" who make it all possible. "I bet these little guys eyes will lit up like little...
Read full storyEnemy #1 is Cow Flatulence, Not al-Qaeda
Al Gore and Michael Moore are planning to do a new movie and launch a major effort to stop so much cow flatulence from getting into the atmosphere. The going is slow right at present because of it being so hard to video a cow farting at just the r...
Read full storyMan Given 1,000 Years to Live by Leprechaun, Man Bored to Death
"I'd kill myself if it would work but I've tried it 12 times and it didn't work...and I'm only 501!" Russell Breckinridge says that in the early 1500s he accidentally fell off a cliff and right into the liar of a Leprechaun. He gave me three wi...
Read full storyMummy DNA Shows 3500 Years Old But Not Completely Human
A very confused group of experts have been onto this for a month and still have no solution. "We have an Egyptian mummy, we think, brought here as usual to test the DNA so it could be dated and so we did", stated a DNA Expert in Tucson, Arizona. "...
Read full storyWhat If It Had Been Paul McCartney Instead of John Who Died?
In a recent interview we asked Paul McCartney and Ringo who were together for the first time on a recent Television Event, what would it have been like if Paul had been shot and killed instead of John Lennon? Paul: Well, I certainly wouldn't have been here for you to ask me that. Ringo: I remember John. Haven't seen him for a bit. So he would have joked around? Ringo: He was always pul...
Read full storyHollywood Announces Hiring Ban!
Hollywood Mayor announced today that Hollywood movie makers and all those who work for them have job security but that they are hired up for the next five years. "The good news is that the stars we have and the production staffers, writers are ple...
Read full storyBP Celebrates Earth Day and Positive Change (of the Climate Variety)
This Earth Day, British Petroleum took the opportunity to celebrate the oil company's significant environmental progress. "We feel good about all BP has done to effect positive change," announced Group Chief Executive Bob Dudley. "Of the climate vari...
Read full storySupreme Court Justices Form Heavy Metal Band Called 'SCROTUS'
WASHINGTON-On Monday, Supreme Court Chief Justice John Roberts announced that he and the other justices will take a break from hearing oral arguments and focus on their music, or as Roberts calls it, "The Pain." The 5-4 decision came after six mon...
Read full storyGame of Thrones Fans Feel Anguish Upon Learning Show Isn't Real
Belfast, Scotland - The HBO series Game of Thrones is undisputedly a hit. Currently in its 4th season, the show draws almost 7 million viewers per episode. In contrast the audience for Season 1 was less than 3 million viewers per episode. The show ai...
Read full storyCopycat vomiting fears as Obama eschews Japanese state banquet
Tokyo - The January 1992 incident saw President George Herbert Bush throw up all over Japanese Prime Minister Kiichi Miyazawa in a rare display of gastrointestinal realpolitik and raw sashimi fish. White House fears of a repeat performance saw Pre...
Read full storyFrank Luntz, GOP Wordsmith, Found Expired at House of Assignation
NEW YORK-Frank Luntz, the wunderkind of the Republican Party who coined phrases such as climate change (for global warming), energy exploration (for oil drilling) and death tax (for estate tax), was found by paramedics in a state of de-animation at a...
Read full storyFriend's Book Is Simply Brilliant
Awed by her boundless imagination, characterizations and writing skills, as well as her unique technique Helen Schwartz hailed the self-published novel written by her friend Carol Hill as "Utterly Fantastic". "Carols's stuff is completely mind-blo...
Read full storyMoyes for West Ham in Amazing Swap
An amazing last minute deal has been fixed between Manchester United's owners and West Ham. In the deal Sam Allardyce will take over as Manager of the Manchester club and David Moyes will manage West Ham. A joint announcement from the two Premier...
Read full story"It's Just Annexation, Everyone's Doing It!"
The United States needs action. We need something that all people can get behind and that will unite us. Dissension and laziness is getting us nowhere. Something like a war would kick-start us in the right direction. Think of our economy during and after the earlier World Wars. However, war itself is ugly and killing is frowned upon by basically everybody in the world. We don't actually want to ki...
Read full storyAmazon - Facebook Merger George Cloony Delivered To Woman's Door After "Like" Shock
Warnings to set preferences correctly in Facebook after the Amazon - Facebook merger were issued by Mark Zuckerburger yesterday. The warnings came after reports of incidents attributed to "teething troubles". In one high profile error George Cloo...
Read full storyMSNBC Host Seeks Rehab for Rare Condition Over Slobbering Affection for President
Palm Springs, CA - After nearly six years of denial, MSNBC talk show host Chris Matthews, has finally checked himself into rehab due to the "tingles" he experiences whenever he sees, hears or meets President Barack Obama. Matthews has been afflic...
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