
Ian Beale Becomes A Sponge Cake
The BBC has released a picture of EastEnders' Ian Beale looking a little worse for wear on the streets of Walford following his nightmarish transformation into a Victoria sponge cake. The café owner heartthrob disappeared from Albert Square last m...
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Scrooge Bloomburg Plans Soda Tax On Poor
Critics of the ban on super-sized soda drinks have panned Mayor Bloomburg for taxing the poor people of New York who drink the most soda drinks. It is predominently those people on a low income who consume the most fizzy beverages. Poor people pu...
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Ron Paul Offers Shocking Proposal to Limit Illegal Immigration
During the 2012 fiscal year the federal government spent more on immigration enforcement-18 billion-than on every other federal enforcement agency combined. We've build endless fences, surveillance towers, and added significantly to the numbe...
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Formerly Priceless Commodity, Love, Now Traded on NYSE
In a stunning new move, NYSE Chairman Marsh Carter approved the addition of a new commodity - love - onto the NYSE. Commodities like wheat, corn, soy beans, and pork bellies have long been pedaled through commodities markets. But due to its ethereal...
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Brown smoke from Vatican chimney! "We were just kidding---for God's sake!"
The world was stunned early this morning as brown smoke spewed from the Vatican chimney. "What does this mean? What has happened? Have the Cardinals lost their minds?" As the media speculated and the worlds Catholics tried desperately to make se...
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Police Say Dead Cast of "Bonanza" Displayed in Toyota Dealership Showroom
Deceased cast members of Bonanza, an iconic American western television show that aired for nearly 14 years, were discovered yesterday sitting behind the wheel of new vehicles in a Kansas Toyota dealership showroom, said police. "I think they we...
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Char-Broil to Supply Vatican Stoves Used by Conclave
In a press release issued today, barbecue maker Char-Broil announced the company has won the contract to supply the Vatican stoves used in the process to select the next pope. "It's basically our model number 600-series combination grill and smo...
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Blind Man with Narcoleptic Guide Dog Has Been Standing on Corner for Two Days
A 52-year old blind man whose seeing-eye dog is afflicted with the sleeping disorder narcolepsy has been standing on the corner of 4th and Woodruff since Tuesday waiting to cross the street, say passersby. "I saw him a couple of days ago on my w...
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Hidden service elevator links Cardinal's private quarters with Europe's biggest gay sauna
Rome - "Kinda puts the 'condom' back in 'condominium', heheh," is how one GayTripAdvisa.con reviewer put it this morning as the story went viral in cyberspace. News that a palatial 12-room apartment housing the Vatican's top gay exorcist is connec...
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Wes Welker Named Pope of Gillette Stadium
VATICAN CITY, FOXBORO - Like the poster of Uncle Sam pointing out at you, saying: "I want you," for service to the country, Patriots owner Robert Kraft told media, "We want Wes." Yes, they really do. Kraft hopes Welker will remain a Patriot for l...
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Women shopping on a budget are urged to shop with cross dressers
A recent survey has discovered that, when it comes to clothes shopping, cross dressers win hands down for finding bargains. "After twenty years of marriage," said Hattie Coates, editor of Fashion Magazine, "I discovered my husband was a cross dres...
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Willie Nelson and Miley Cyrus To Star In "Marijuana Days Daze"
NEW ORLEANS - Willie Nelson performed to a standing room only crowd in the Big Easy's Voodoo Arena. After the show he was asked by Pomona Vox with Silver Screen Showcase Magazine about his new movie. Willie said that the movie titled Marijuana...
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