$5 million for first Kate breastfeeding vid
Los Angeles, California - "And another $5 million for a heraldic tramp stamp shot or crown-themed nipple piercing pic," the Culture Editor of an LA celebwatch site promised today after announcing a $5 million bounty for exclusive footage of Baby Camb...
Read full storyThe True Story of Marvel Comics' Scarlet Witch
Born of an incestuous union between The Whizzer (aka The Pisser) and his sister, Miss America, the Scarlet Witch (nee Bitch) became the life partner of her brother Pietro ("Quickie") Maximuff until they divorced in 1965, after which the Witch wed the no-count, ne'er-do-well Vision, a member of The Avengers (or maybe he was the Avengers' member; Marvel's historians disagree on the matter). Her n...
Read full storyBarry Challenges Vlad on Snowden at Club Mephistopheles
Presidents Obama and Putin have flown to an undisclosed location (rumored to be Club Mephistopheles in Hong Kong) for a secret meeting on the Edward Snowden problem. Carefully located surveillance (audio and optics) within this nightclub, plus co...
Read full storyKhajuraho's Copulating Couples
If you're seeking an exotic, romantic destination, look no further. Ttravel adviser, Roman de Roads, has the perfect place for you: the temples of Khajuraho, India. Temples? How romantic could they be, unless they involve a temple prostitute? you may be wondering. The answer, Roads assures us, is "way romantic!" In fact, he says, there is "nothing sexier on the planet." What makes the...
Read full storyJesus abandons the USA on a gay day!
Somewhere in the USA: It has been reported by those who should know better and do not, that Jesus, yes him not imposters, has turned his back on the USA but not in a gay way. After the US courts decided to recognise same-sex marriages as legal, Je...
Read full storyOlympian Gives Birth On Trampoline
A Russian gymnast, in training for the upcoming Olympic Games, went into labour on a trampoline yesterday giving birth to a bouncing baby boy. Unaware that she was pregnant, Elena Kulakov had been carrying on with her demanding training regime in...
Read full storyBooger King introduces new Bun Burgers
MIAMI, FL - Booger King spokesman Stanley Snodgrass announced the fast-food giant's introduction of a new menu item that will be offered only at franchises in beach and summer resorts. "It's a little risqué," Snodgrass confessed. "The buns are sha...
Read full storySpaghetti Westerns to attempt a comeback
HOLLYWEIRD, CA - In an attempt to reduce spiraling production costs associated with special effects-laden fantasy and adventure movies, Hollywood filmmakers are making spaghetti Westerns again in the hope that these cheap films may make a comeback am...
Read full storyGiger gay bar to open in Castro District
SAN FRANCISCO, CA - At the invitation of former Speaker of the House Nancy Pelosi, her "good friend," artist H. R. Giger has agreed to license his artwork for use in another of his series of so-called "Giger Gay Bars." If the bar does well, Pelosi...
Read full story"Playboy" launches Braille issue
CHICAGO, IL - Christie Hefner, Hugh's daughter and president and CEO now that her father, the magazine's founder and publisher emeritus, is encumbered by his having to wear Depends diapers for adults to avoid embarrassing accidents, announced during...
Read full story1600 Pennsylvania Avenue seeks to secede from Union
WASHINGTON, D. C. - With the stroke of a pen, President Barak Obama signed an executive order by which 1600 Pennsylvania is no longer part of the United States. "We've seceded," First Lady Michelle Obama confirmed rumors that the nation's capitol is...
Read full storyWimbledon 2013: Laura Robson To Have Two Hillocks Named After Her
Laura Robson, the British tennis start who stunneded 10th seed Maria Kirilenko to reach the second round of Wimbledon 2013, is to follow in the footsteps of previous British tennis 'greats' Tim Henman and Andy Murray, and, in time-honoured fashion, h...
Read full storyHollyweird's Hottest: Michelle Trachtenberg
"To think I kissed her there-and there-and there!"-Sarah Michelle Gellar Michelle Trachtenberg (who should change her last name because, like Schwarzenegger, it's just too hard to spell) calls herself an American actress although her mother was born in Russia. She appeared as a key in energy form that became flesh so that she could live with her mentor, Sarah Michelle Gellar, in Sunnydale, Ca...
Read full storyCharles Fort - Spoof Writer
Charles Fort made a living making up supposed news stories which he then compiled in several books which not only sold well but remain in print today, giving The Spoof's writers hope that they, too, can perhaps cash in on "lies, damned lies, and statistics," as Mark Twain defined fiction. Early Daze Fort was born (some say, hatched) in New York (some say, Albany), and claimed to have had Dut...
Read full storyPresident Obama Lends Air Force One To George Clooney and Stacy Keibler
WASHINGTON, D.C. - Several Republican senators have expressed concern over the fact that President Obama allowed George Clooney and his stunning girlfriend Stacy Keibler the use of Air Force One. White House Press Secretary Cal Colfax responded to...
Read full storyParis Hilton Wants To Squash Those Silly Lesbian Rumors
LA BREA - Paris and her mom were having breakfast at the world famous La Brea Tar Pits Diner when she overheard someone in the next table mention the word lesbian. Paris put down her chorizo and egg breakfast taco and asked the woman if she was ta...
Read full storyConnecticut's Bid To Purchase Mount Rushmore Falls Through
HARTFORD, Connecticut - It appears that plans for the state of Connecticut to purchase Mount Rushmore have fallen through. According to Pendragon Taffywood, a spokesperson for The Connecticut Committee To Buy Mount Rushmore, he and other officials...
Read full storyNina Dobrev and Ian Somerhalder To Star In The Movie, Hide & Seek - The Edward Snowden Story
HOLLYWOOD - LaLaLand is already jumping on the huge NSA scandal regarding former NSA contractor Edward Snowden alias The Whistleblower. Tittle Tattle Tonight's Pico de Gallo has just learned that noted Italian director Bandini Borrapelli has signe...
Read full storyGovernor Brewer of Arizona Disqualifies Wet T-Shirt Contest Winner Because She's A Lesbian
YUMA, Arizona - The 19th Annual Arizona Wet T-Shirt Contest was held in Yuma and this year's overwhelming winner was Loribelle Tantaletti of Flagstaff. But Tantaletti's victory was short lived as Governor Jan Brewer soon learned from an unnamed so...
Read full storyPresident Obama and President Putin Discuss The So-Called Missing Super Bowl Ring
FERMANAGH, Ireland - The 39th edition of The G8 Summit Meeting was recently held in the beautiful country of Ireland, the land where Irish Spring Soap was born. According to The Irish Eyes News Agency some of the major topics that were discussed b...
Read full storyPaula Deen Dejected, Down, and Depressed But Thrilled About A New Job Offer
SAVANNAH, Georgia - Paula Deen says that she has learned her lesson, and that is that one really needs to keep one's mouth shut when it comes to anything to do with the dreaded "N" word. Deen talking to Fitzwater Ribicoff with American Spotlight M...
Read full storyDemi Lovato Responds To The Alleged Britney Spears Pass
HOLLYWOOD - X-Factor judge Demi Lovato has finally addressed the persistent rumor about an alleged pass that fellow judge Britney Spears made just after the show's finale. Lovato said that she was in her dressing room backstage when Britney walked...
Read full storyRed Panda Explains Timeout from the National Zoo
On Monday morning when Rusty, the red panda (he looks sort of like a raccoon) was reported missing, many assumed that he was displeased with his accommodations at the National Zoo in Wash., DC. Not so. To counteract the incorrect assumption, once Rusty was returned to the zoo later in the day, he contacted a reporter at TheSpoof.com, Gail Farrelly (she's an expert in panda parlance), to...
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