Jesus abandons the USA on a gay day!

Written by Jaggedone

Wednesday, 26 June 2013


The story you are trying to access may cause offense, may be in poor taste, or may contain subject matter of a graphic nature. This story was written as a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

If you wish to back out now, please click here to go back to the home page.

image for Jesus abandons the USA on a gay day!
No gay USA for Jesus, he's away!

Somewhere in the USA: It has been reported by those who should know better and do not, that Jesus, yes him not imposters, has turned his back on the USA but not in a gay way.

After the US courts decided to recognise same-sex marriages as legal, Jesus, with great wisdom and sorrow told his followers, a shephard, a Burger King and a wisdom soothsayer; "My sheep I am leaving you because Africa needs me and now same-sex marriages are legal, there is no need for me to say anything different!"

He washed his hands in a nearby desert water pump standing at a derelict gas station called, Ponty's Pilots R us, and was last seen treading water towards the Sahara. A passing ship offered him a lift but was going nowhere and bore the name Marie Celeste anyway, so he pulled his thumb down, Nero agreed.

As for gay marriage in the US? Who really gives a crap anyway? After all they are people just like you and me and need a shoulder to cry on after they've been caught with their knickers down...

Jesus was last seen chatting to Neptune and a passing whale waved before being harpooned by an Icelandic god called Thor!

More as Jesus sets foot in the Holy Land where Marley went before him, smoking...

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

Spoof news topics
Go to top
readers are online right now!
Globey, The Spoof's mascot

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more