Somewhere in the USA: It has been reported by those who should know better and do not, that Jesus, yes him not imposters, has turned his back on the USA but not in a gay way.
After the US courts decided to recognise same-sex marriages as legal, Jesus, with great wisdom and sorrow told his followers, a shephard, a Burger King and a wisdom soothsayer; "My sheep I am leaving you because Africa needs me and now same-sex marriages are legal, there is no need for me to say anything different!"
He washed his hands in a nearby desert water pump standing at a derelict gas station called, Ponty's Pilots R us, and was last seen treading water towards the Sahara. A passing ship offered him a lift but was going nowhere and bore the name Marie Celeste anyway, so he pulled his thumb down, Nero agreed.
As for gay marriage in the US? Who really gives a crap anyway? After all they are people just like you and me and need a shoulder to cry on after they've been caught with their knickers down...
Jesus was last seen chatting to Neptune and a passing whale waved before being harpooned by an Icelandic god called Thor!
More as Jesus sets foot in the Holy Land where Marley went before him, smoking...
