Barry Challenges Vlad on Snowden at Club Mephistopheles

Funny story written by joseph k winter

Wednesday, 26 June 2013


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Leaders share hong shao yu at secret meeting

Presidents Obama and Putin have flown to an undisclosed location (rumored to be Club Mephistopheles in Hong Kong) for a secret meeting on the Edward Snowden problem.

Carefully located surveillance (audio and optics) within this nightclub, plus cooperation of waiters who must remain anonymous, have enabled the following report.

Using a theoretical example, Mr. Obama challenged Mr. Putin on Russia's failure to extradite Edward Snowden. Mr. Snowden is currently unavailable in a transit lounge at a Moscow airport.

What if a member of Pussy Riot had escaped Russia and ended up in Washington?

Wouldn't the US be all too eager to return her? And of course wouldn't US mainstream media, such as FOX news and MSNBC, be eager to celebrate that return?

According to Mr. Putin that would be a different scenario since Pussy Riot is being punished for insulting his honorable person, an obvious criminal behavior.

(There are rumors some Pussy Riot members have spoken about "Vladder and his bladder" problem.)

On the other hand Snowden fits the profile of political dissident.

Mr. Putin stated that the issue is a conflict of interest between the US's supposed constitution vs. an oath not to reveal classified information.

So, in this case it's not Mr. Obama that stands vilified but an entire system, not a simple criminal matter.

Mr. Obama rejoined that surely this system of massive spying on the citizenry was familiar to Mr. Putin because it continues to operate, as with the KGB in Russia and elsewhere in the communist world.

That system, studied by the NSA and adopted for the US, is modeled after behavior of the stasi in East Germany. Mr. Obama conceded that until now US officials had not revealed their admiration for the East German model.

At this point, due to careful deciphering of the available surveillance, Mr. Obama's facial optics expressed the following question:

So why aren't the US and Russia standing together like brothers? And cooperating on this matter?

Mr. Putin confirmed that these systems, whether Russia, China, or the US, are indeed admirably based on firm principles of how to control any populace, anywhere.

In secretly surveiling into other countries, however, perhaps his own KGB experts could advise the American NSA on how to avoid blunders?

At this point, although optics are fuzzy, Mr. Obama appeared to upset his glass of water onto Mr. Putin's lap, in what was probably an accident.

The two men seemed amused that Mr. Putin had become "wet" and ordered up more drinks plus hong shao yu.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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