Sharper Minds In Elders Generated By Military Video Games
Recent research shows that short- term memory and long term focus in older adults can be enhanced by participation in military video games involving blood and slaughter. Killing people in the videos must be accomplished in the space of two or three...
Read full storyLiam Helmsworth Not Brightest Bulb On The tree!
Australian Liam Helmsworth may be a fairly good actor but his brothers say that he sometimes has trouble over simple things. Of course, several caught onto that when he went to live with Miley Cyrus who acted like nothing was really going on there...
Read full storyWill Smith's Son Jaden Is Beat By Dog on Intelligence Test
Jaden Smith, known for starring in the Karate Kidremake and tweeting "School Is The Tool To Brainwash The Youth," was beat in an intelligence test by a mixed breed dog named Skippy. Skippy took about 12 minutes to complete a test that took Jaden...
Read full storyKim Jong Un Reforms and Will Hold Toys for Tots Benefit
Pynonang, North Korea - Kim Jong Un notified the world press today that he has sworn off evil and to prove it he will conduct the biggest Toys for Tots drive the world has ever seen. Kim further announced that North Korea's factories were hummin...
Read full storyRooney demands transfer!
Wayne Rooney has put in a transfer request and demanded a move away from Man Utd. He gave the following press conference explaining his reasons and here it is: "I am sick to death of playing for a middle of the table club, fed up with doing mar...
Read full storyWalmart Spokesman Loses Control Punches Reporter
New York - At a press conference today Walmart spokesman Scott A. Reid faced hostile questions from gathered reporters. The press were called so that Mr. Reid could justify the U.S. retailers decline to aid factory victims in Bangladesh by participa...
Read full storyWe love you, Sarah Palin, and we're glad that Martin Bashir Creep is Dog Goned
Martin Bashir's on-air verbal attack against Sarah Palin was so over the top that even liberals think this eccentric left-wing crackpot should have resigned. And most of us liberals can be categorized as eccentric left-wing nutcases, but even the...
Read full storyJustin Bieber In Trouble In Brazil Again
The Whiz Kid is certainly earning his name nowadays as the country of Brazil either want him to be sent there for a trial or that his reps send a whole lot of money. An unnamed reporter says that Justin, at the rate he is going, may be another Mil...
Read full storyJennifer Lopez May Offer Piece of Tail on eBay
We live in a strange world today, especially on the world of eBay. You can go on there or one of the others like it and find a lot of things for sale. Still when a friend of mine pointed out an article, only a short paragraph at a Walmart checkout...
Read full storyGuardian editor hauled kicking and screaming to cold cell and bread and water
Readers beware! The headline above is totally false, not legitimate investigation--which follows below. The record will be clear. It is not true that The Guardian's Mr. Rusbridger was later conducted into an additional, secret Home Affairs Commi...
Read full storyPETA Plans To Put Snails On The Endangered Species List - So It's Bye Bye To Escargot
NORFOLK, Virginia - Snails have been around just about as long as flies, spiders, and pill bugs, but unlike those three insects the number of snails has decreased by 37 percent in just the past three years. Insect experts state that this is due to...
Read full story"You Know!" Beginning To Take Place After Many Political Arguments
A strange change have come about maybe because of all the politics, all the suing, a black President, maybe even a right-wing Radio Talk Show Host. The mystery has been handed over to MENSA to see if even they can understand it, because it seems t...
Read full storyA Hog Farmer in Kansas Discovers That Two of His Pigs Love To Hum Along With Him To Songs By The Beatles
WICHITA, Kansas - Buford Buttonspoon has become one of the most popular farmers in his neck of the woods. The 71-year-old hog farmer recently revealed that a year ago last Labor Day, he was out slopping his hogs when he started humming the Beatles...
Read full storyAmazan to use delivery Drones
Amazan has completed tests in non nuclear delivery Drones. These will have to be controlled by Military bases in Texas for security reasons. Already used in secret by Father Christmas, the Drones will not be heavily armed at first until safety iss...
Read full storyPresident Putin Has Mailed His Christmas Present To Kim Jong Un
MOSCOW - Russia's national news agency, Vodkavich is reporting that President Putin has sent a Christmas present to the leader of North Korea, Kim Jong Un. Vodkavich stated that President Putin personally picked out the holiday gift himself. He...
Read full storyRadioactive Material Truck Stolen In Mexico Headed Towards Maricopa, Arizona
SAN DIEGO - United States Customs Agents have advised the Arizona state authorities to be on the look out for a late model mossy green truck that is reportedly headed for their state. Captain Lestingwood Grimwitch, 43, with the U.S. Department of...
Read full storyMexico Is Blaming The Chupacabra For The Fire That Cancelled The San Antonio Spurs - Minnesota Timberwolves Game In Mexico City
MEXICO CITY - About an hour before the San Antonio Spurs and the Minnesota Timberwolves were to have tipped off in an NBA game in Mexico a fire broke out towards the ceiling. Smoke quickly engulfed the arena and it was evacuated. NBA officials hop...
Read full storyMrs. Kim Jong Un Asks Her Husband For A Divorce
PYONGYANG, North Korea - In a story that has shocked the people of North Korea, Mrs. Kim Jong Un has talked to her husband and informed him that she wants out of their 4-year marriage. Ri Sol Ju, who is a beautiful woman, reportedly told her husba...
Read full storyCosta Rica Has Developed A Super Drone
SAN JOSE, Costa Rica - Reports coming out of Costa Rica state that President Kiko Sombrero has just announced to the people of his country that Costa Rica has developed a super drone. The super drone nicknamed El Pajaro Grande (The Big Bird) is ro...
Read full storyTom Cruise and John Travolta Save Pasadena
Famed Scientologists Tom Cruise and John Travolta today used their combined "OT" powers to save the city of Pasadena from a 7 point earthquake. "We were always warned by the head Scientologists not to let outsiders see our powers but we felt we had to do something to save Pasadena," said Cruise. "Yes, we would never have revealed our powers if it had been just Glendale," said Travolta. Th...
Read full storyKim Jong-Un Names Dennis Rodman as #2 in North Korea
Pyongang, North Korea Not long after Kim Jong Un's uncle Jang Song Thaek "disappeared," the diminuative dictator of North Korea named his basketball hero Dennis Rodman as his new second in command. In honor of Mr. Rodman's ascension, Kim ordere...
Read full storyMiley Cyrus New Ass -Master Commercials
Prepare to be seeing a lot of Miley Cyrus on television infomercials as she will be following in the steps of Suzanne Somers! Suddenly, you will see scenes of Miley using the new product that will make you be just like her. It's the Ass Master!...
Read full storyDumpster Diving Is New Way to Get an Emmy Award
Folks in the television industry now recommend this as the BEST way to capture that award. They discovered this after reading an article in the New York Post: Worker Snags an Emmy ... that he found in trash. Forget arm twisting, lobbying, spending tons of money to "buy" votes. Not worth it, those in the know say. After interviewing approximately 100 dumpster divers for Emmys on the st...
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