Wayne Rooney has put in a transfer request and demanded a move away from Man Utd.
He gave the following press conference explaining his reasons and here it is:
"I am sick to death of playing for a middle of the table club, fed up with doing marathons up and down the pitch on my own while my team colleagues sit back, pick their noses and expect me to do everything on my own. I cannot stand Moyes whinging about bad luck, the balls not running in our direction and his pea-brained substituting skills, I want out!"
One reporter frome the Liverpool Echo asked Rooney which club he wanted to go to and his answer was:
"A top club, a top top club with a top top trainer and their name is Everton!"
Newsflash: There was a gorilla seen sitting on David Moyes's back after last nights debacle against Everton and the fans swore it had a red nose, Scottish accent and held a book in its hand called "Welcome to Fergies Theatre of Nightmares"!