
NATO congratulates NSA for spying on EU paedo cult behind Enron, Lemon Bros, Madoff, etc, crash
New York - A high level NATO source said today the NSA's surveillance of a rapacious EU satanic cult deserves the Congressional Medal of Honor and not rabid bad mouthing in the so-called liberal press. "And that includes socialist Brits' horrible...
Read full story
Heather Mills In Another Rage Incident, Gets Even With Tournament Official
Heather Mills, who told Paralympics official Sylvana Mestre "you don't know who I am, I will make your life miserable," just bought the mortgage company that holds the mortgage on Mestre's house and evicted her using alimony money from Paul McCartney...
Read full story
Dyson invents bagless bags
Plastic grocery bags will soon be a thing of the past as the innovative British inventor, James Dyson has patented a bagless grocery bag. The bagless is a centrifugal force based superconducting gravity magnet which works by controlling gravity t...
Read full story
Obama May Be Going On Mount Rushmore!
At a press conference this morning, President Obama announced that he is to be placed on Mount Rushmore. For one thing, this will create at least one thousand jobs and increase tourism in South Dakota. The White House Press Corps erupted in appla...
Read full story
Tony Blair says new portrait is the "Spitting Image" of himself
The new portrait of the "Spitting Image" puppet of Tony Blair unveiled in the National Portrait Gallery this morning is considered a masterpiece of Alexander Adamson's work. Ralph Harris, whose portrait of the Spitting Image puppet of The Queen...
Read full story
X Rated Celebrity Show fury. "Whats my VPL" shows X Rayed Celebrities in lingerie.
"What's my Panty Line" Celebrity show, where invited celebrities walk up and down a catwalk while x-ray images are projected on a screen in front of a panel of experts has come in for heavy criticism from feminist groups. Although some men will be in...
Read full story
Wales voted most miserable place in the world, William Haig Plans to broadcast cheerful music on P.A.
In the prestigious new Ruff Guide to the world, Wales has been given a FFFF rating for cheerfulness, down from FFFE three years ago. The home of depressing poetry, Eisteddfod parties and almost constant rain, Wales has slipped to below France, thi...
Read full story
Rush Limbaugh Wants To Eliminate NASA
NEW YORK CITY - Well it appears that the political volcano known as Mount St. Limbaugh is starting to rumble again. GOP radio talk show host Rush Limbaugh has stated on his nationwide program that the United States needs to do away with the NASA p...
Read full story
Holland Sends Kim Jong Un 4,000 Pounds of His Favorite Chocolate Candy
AMSTERDAM, Netherlands - Holland the country which is famous for chocolate, tulips, and neutrality has just put a gigantic smile on the face of the leader of North Korea Kim Jong Un. Holland's Dyke News Agency is reporting that the government of H...
Read full story
LeBron James Says The Miami Heat Needs To Play Better
MIAMI - The Miami Heat presently have a 19-6 record but super star LeBron James is not happy at the fact that they trail the Eastern Conference leaders the Indiana Pacers who have a 20-5 record. James said that the world champion Heat should not b...
Read full story
Iowa Bans Two Children's Christmas Books
DES MOINES - The Iowa State Senate has just voted to ban two children's Christmas books on the grounds that the are highly inappropriate for the youngsters of the great state of Iowa. Senator Claudette Cora Wonderwillow [R-Sioux City] informed the...
Read full story
North Korea's Kim Jong Un Offers To Buy South Korea
PYONGYANG, North Korea - In a move that no one saw coming the government of North Korea has offered to purchase the entire nation of South Korea. The Rice Paddy News Agency is reporting that the leader of North Korea Kim Jong Un has made a very ge...
Read full story
Scientists Discover That Saturn Is Not Really 4.5 Million Years Old As Everyone Had Believed
HOUSTON - One of the world's leading scientist Dr. Currington S. Clexweiser has just made an unbelievable discovery. Dr. Clexweiser has revealed that recent scientific studies show that the planet Saturn, which is listed as being 4.5 million years...
Read full story
Jessica Simpson Furious At Her Younger Sister Ashlee
BEVERLY HILLS - The Simpson sisters, Jessica and Ashlee, paid a visit to their favorite hair stylist FuFi Fondue owner of The Haven of Hair Salon on Rodeo Drive. As Ashlee sat in the salon chair getting the split ends trimmed on her long flowing g...
Read full story
The Oklahoma City Thunder At The Top of The NBA Standings With A Record of 20-4
OKLAHOMA CITY - The Oklahoma City Thunder are hitting their opponents with thunder, lightning, and hellacious hail. The latest victim from the state located north of Texas were the Chicago Bulls who fell to the Thunder 107-95. OKC forward Kevin...
Read full story
Justin Bieber Tells Piers Morgan That He's Hanging Up His Microphone
NEW YORK CITY - The Canadian pop singer and hip hop wannabe Justin Bieber appeared on Tonight With Piers Morgan. The highly troubled singer told Morgan that all of the recent headline stories he has made have finally taken a toll on him. He sai...
Read full story
Russell Brand Says He's Been Daydreaming About Being Twerked By Megyn Kelly
NEW YORK CITY - English comedian Russell Brand appeared on The Viagra View with Regis Philbin and Larry King. Regis asked him what he thought about the controversial statement that FOX News reporter Megyn Kelly had made stating that Santa Claus is...
Read full story
Theory That Our Universe Is Just A Hologram Really Messes With Peoples Heads
An article in the Huffington Post (Science section, Dec. 12) titled 'Is The Universe A Hologram? Physicists Say It's Possible' is causing queasiness amongst many in the world, especially those in a perpetual state of pot induced highness. Our intrepi...
Read full story
Google Street and Country Cameras Catching UFOs?
Apparently scientists at NASA are having trouble identifying exactly what Google Street pix are pulling in. "At first we all had a good laugh", stated Dr. Douglas Reynolds. "But then the evidence kept piling up." A few reporters have seen the a...
Read full story