British Royal family use "chill out" lifestyle coach before Harlem visit
Sagging trousers, heavy gold chains and a casual outside of trousers shirt are to be worn by British King, Prince Philip at next weeks wealth distribution visit to Harlem by the Royle Family. Spare jewels, gold and crowns are to be raffled using free...
Read full story"Change the name Redskins?! Get the hell out of My Office, it's Nap Time!"
"What about that name your neighbor and friend came up with, the Washington Bravehearts?" said RedHawk StrongSioux, on his first day of his third week on the job. "I don't like the name Washington Bravehearts. I just don't," said Washington Redskins owner Daniel Snyder. "I like the name Redskins and that's the name we're going to be called until this world ends." "But Dan, the American India...
Read full storyCanada Sells 12 Polar Bears To Kenya
OTTAWA, Canada - The Canadian government has just stated that they have sold a dozen polar bears to the African country of Kenya. Kenya which is a warm country with year round temperatures in the 90s commented that the polar bears will all be hous...
Read full storyPresident Obama's Picture On New $1 Coin!
The White House has approved the redesign of U.S. currency featuring President Barack Obama who will be on the new dollar coin. "We would rather have placed Franklin on the $1 coin because Franklin had never been President of the United States. W...
Read full storyTaylor Swift Slaps, Chokes Amy Poehler
Apparently Taylor Swift is still angry about the Golden Globes duo of Poehler and Tina Fey, slapped Amy Poehler in a Hollywood restaurant over the weekend. Sources say that Taylor Swift is at war with Amy Poehler and Tina Fey. She is slashing out...
Read full story'Fake' Mandela memorial interpreter fully booked for funerals including Pope Benedict, George Bush Sr and Queen Elizabeth: reports
New York - Commenting on his forward bookings diary for 2014 a New York PR company representing South African 'fake' signer Thamsanqa Jantjie said today their client had already accepted hundreds of provisional appearance dates all over the world:...
Read full storyVoluptuous Boeing Spokeswoman Silences Media
The machinists union in Washington rejected a long-term labor deal proposed by Boeing several weeks ago. The proposed pack was "take-back bargaining" and a very bad deal for the union. Without having access to machinists, the initial response of...
Read full storyKim Jong Un Thrilled With The New Bolivian - North Korean Trade Agreement
PYONGYANG, North Korea - Word out of the North Korean capital is that Kim Jong Un is happier than a domestic cat in a sardine factory. The Rice Paddy News Agency has reported that North Korea and the South American country of Bolivia have agreed t...
Read full storyThe Sarah Palin - Cher Feud Hits The Boiling Point
NEW YORK CITY - Legendary music icon Cher appeared on The View and quickly lashed out at the former governor of Alaska, Sarah Palin. Cher was asked by Barbara Walters if she had ever met Mrs. Palin. The "Gypsies, Tramps, and Thieves" singer rolled...
Read full storyAuntie Jean Advises - Mike Rotchburns from Bell End
Mike Rotchburns asks: Dear Auntie Jean, I am a very heavy drinker and each day consume about twenty pints of bitter. I enjoy this and as my wife knew of my hobby when we met, she puts up with a lot from me really, but I also do the same with her. Last night I staggered, singing loudly, up the drive and stumbled through the door, like you do, was sick on the carpet and stumbled up to bed.
Read full storyPhilip Wants Mandela Type Farewell
In a statement from Buckingham Palace Prince Philip has outlined his desired funeral arrangements. 'I feel so like the South African leader Nelson Mandela, who has recently died' the statement begins 'We have both reached a similar age, Mandela sp...
Read full storyMurray gets Personality award in Miami
Charismatic Scotchman, Andy Moray has won the coveted Steve Davis "Mr. Personality" award. The Ceremony took place in Leeds but Mr. Moray was committed to doing things in Miami. "Thanks to the people who could be arsed to turn up. I didn't know I...
Read full storyUK's Prince Philip accidentally frozen in cryogenic pod with Walt Disney's head
Prince Philip, the Queen of England's escort, has fallen into a secret cryogenic chamber a mile below California's Disneyland. Inspecting the pods where Sleeping Beauty and Walt Disney's head are stored "The Dook" was leaning over the safety barr...
Read full storyPresident Obama Explains Why He Sent Kim Jong Un A Christmas Card
WASHINGTON, D.C. - The White House is reporting that President Obama has sent the leader of North Korea, Kim Jong Un a Christmas card. According to President Obama's personal assistant, Traci Dixon, who actually saw the card, the Christmas card sh...
Read full storyThe New England Patriots Fall To The Miami Dolphins 24-20
MIAMI - Sun Life Stadium was rocking and rolling as the home town Miami Dolphins defeated Tom Brady and The New England Patriots by a score of 24-20 in beautiful weather. The Pats were handed their 4th defeat of the season and are now 10-4, while...
Read full storyAngelina Jolie Talks About Her Upcoming Surgery
TOLEDO, Ohio - Angelina Jolie and her half dozen children were in Toledo visiting The Tricycle Museum. Jolie said that her kids had been wanting to visit the famous museum since they heard David Letterman talking about it with country music artist...
Read full storyMichelle Obama Decides To Dye Her Hair Blonde
WASHINGTON, D.C. - White House Press Secretary Cal Colfax has just announced to the White House Press Corps that the first lady, Michelle Obama will be changing her hair color. Colfax remarked that after talking it over with her husband, the presi...
Read full storyThe Seattle Seahawks Go (12-2) As They Pound The New York Giants 23-0
EAST RUTHERFORD, New Jersey - Former New York Giants player Michael Strayhan, who is now the co-host of Live With Kelly and Michael, was not a happy Giants alumni as he watched his former team get clobbered 23-0 by the Seattle Seahawks. A close fr...
Read full storyDemi Lovato Convinces Her BFF Selena Gomez To Apologize For Using The F-Word During Her Concert
LOS ANGELES - Demi Lovato says that she owes a lot to her BFF Selena Gomez who was there for her the three months she spent in a rehab clinic. Demi and Selena both share a love for carne guisada and bean breakfast tacos, chicken flautas, and fajit...
Read full storyA Kansas Farmer Has Developed A Pear That Tastes Like Ribeye Steak
WICHITA, Kansas - The news media is reporting that local farmer Gibraltar Goldenball, 58, has come up with a pear that will revolutionize the pear industry. Durango Tucker with National Focus Magazine interviewed Mr. Goldenball on his 2,713 acre p...
Read full storyDerek Hough Says That Nina Dobrev Belongs With Him and Not With Ian Somerhalder
LOS ANGELES - This year's winner of Dancing With The Stars (along with partner Amber Riley of Glee) has said that he and Lindsay Lohan's visit to The La Brea Tar Pits was Lohan's idea. The dancer known as The Dancing Dude told Bedroom Pillow Talk'...
Read full storyThe Reason Why Snowflake, Arizona May End Up Cancelling Christmas
SNOWFLAKE, Arizona - The town of Snowflake is situated in the east central part of the state. Snowflake is noted for being the birthplace of Egbert P. Plumbago, the man who is credited with having invented butter. The town is also home to The P...
Read full storyDemi Moore Lashes Out At Ashton Kutcher's New Girlfriend Mila Kunis
HOLLYWOOD - After a year of prolonging her divorce to Ashton Kutcher, Demi Moore finally gave in and granted her boy toy husband his divorce An unnamed source said that the 51-year-old Moore was convinced to finalize the divorce by her former husb...
Read full storyKim Kardashian Tells Kanye West That She Won't Put Up With The BS Lamar Odom Put Her Sister Khloe Through
HOLLYWOOD HILLS - Now that Khloe Kardashian has filed for divorce from Lamar Odom, Kim Kardashian has informed her fiancé, Kanye West that she hopes he doesn't pull the same BS that Odom pulled because she won't put up with it for one second. Kim...
Read full storyPresident Obama Wins A Pretty Good Sized Bet On The Seattle Seahawks - New York Giants Game
WASHINGTON, D.C. - President Obama is smiling from ear-to-ear as he took the New York Giants and 24 points against the Seattle Seahawks. The Seahawks defeated the Giants 23-0, but the president won the sports bet due to the point spread giving him...
Read full storyChina on Track to Repeat U.S. Moon Hoax
Houston,TX.-The Peoples Republic of China is on track to repeat the greatest hoax of the last century:The Apollo moon landings. The announcement by NASA,the American space agency, comes just days after the communist country released pictures of a toy...
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