Entwhistle has Wall to Wall holes in the schedule
BBC Director General George Entwhistle will appear before a house of commons select committee today to answer the charge that he suppressed the 'Newsnight' investigation into Jimmy Savile in order to save himself the hassle of re scheduling two tribu...
Read full storyFrankie D. Private Investigator. Part the first
The wind blew through the windy city. This was Chicago, the windy city. In his office off one of those run down streets near a rather violent neighbourhood, Frankie D sat at his desk sipping sour mash whiskey and hummed one of those classic old tunes; Y.M.C.A. by the village people. A letter had arrived from Ohio and its content had him worried, it was written in Mandarin. Was it a threat from...
Read full storyRon and Fred on The British Secret Intelligence Agencies.
"Alright there, Ron" "Yeah, not s' bad as it 'appens, Fred." "Yer don't wanna go araand sayin' that no more Ron." "Oh yeah, I see what yer mean Fred." "Not safe sayin' that now it aint... I saw 'im once I did, years ago mind." "That creep! When was that then, Fred?" "I saw that Jimmy Savaloy, ooooh, nineteen eight-one, eighty-two, raand abaat then. In one ov them London marathon fings 'e wa...
Read full storyOne Woman's Monkey Mission
"From the actual jungle to the urban jungle" as David Attenborough would probably say if he was remotely interested in this story. A English married mum of two says she was raised by monkeys in the Colombian jungle. We at Back and to the Left news really wish she had said "gorillas" then we could have made a selection of jokes (and pass them off as journalism) about the paramilitary group Farc whi...
Read full storyBBC to investigate BBC over BBC not investigating BBC
The BBC have announced that the BBC will investigate the BBC after the BBC dropped a BBC report last year into several stories of alleged abuse by Jimmy Savile at the BBC. BBC political programme Newsnight carried out a six week investigation las...
Read full storyLance Armstrong Named Yankees' New Cheating Coach
New York -- Looking to bounce back from being swept in the American League playoffs, the New York Yankees have named former cycling scammer Lance Armstrong as their new cheating coach. "We managed just six runs in that four-game series," said Yank...
Read full storyDudley Do-Right to the Rescue: John Farrell Rides into Boston
Ever since John Farrell rode west to the Toronto Blue Jays, Red Sox ownership has suffered a bad case of the blues every time he came to town. Now Farrell has been restored to the position of Cardinal (no longer a Jay) in the Cathedral of Boston.
Read full storySituation Vacant - Premiership Footballer Required
A top English Premier League club has an opening for a full-time professional footballer to work within a highly motivated multi-lingual team of prancing prima-donnas. Interested parties should be able to demonstrate a high level of skill, and will be required to show their ability to blow their nose with one finger, and gob large amounts of spit onto the floor. The successful applicant will al...
Read full storyMan sues Louis Vuitton after finding brown stripes in his $200 underpants!
After buying a pair of Louis Vuitton underpants in the LV boutique on Sunset Boulevard for $250,00 dollars and wearing them only once, he discovered that there were several brown stripes in them. The man, who wishes to remain anonymous, but has be...
Read full storyChoc ice slur man makes stand against racism, by kicking "Kick Racism Out Of Football" out of football
Gin soaked senile, ex trade unionist claims he felt embarrassed after Choc ice slur man had made the decision despite Gin soaked senile, ex trade unionist telling the media in his pre-match press conference that all of his players would support the c...
Read full storyAirports Have Evil New Ways Of Flying Off With Your Money
Airports, seeking to get more money out of passengers exiting through their gates on international flights, have come up with inventive new ways of sucking the money out of their pockets. Most airports have already come up with the ingenious meth...
Read full storyBrad Pitt Finally Dumps Angelina Jolie
NEW YORK CITY - Close friends of Brad Pitt say they have seen the writing on the wall for quite sometime but simply did not want to make waves. After months of threatening to break up with Angelina Jolie, Brad has finally stepped up to the plate a...
Read full storyRio Ferdinand Claims John Terry No Longer On His Christmas Card List
The Manchester United and former England defender Rio Ferdinand has told reporters that his ex-England team-mate John Terry is a "despicable cad" and no longer on the black star's Christmas card list. Terry has been at the centre of racist abuse a...
Read full storyElvis reborn in Germany
Staff at Graceland today were shocked when the US army revealed that a DNA sample taken from a visitor to an Army Base in Germany matched that of the King. Elvira Muntz from Berlin who works part time as a waitress was hired as part of a staff for...
Read full storyFootage posted of 'Sir Les Patterson' lookalike being thrown out of Barking internet cafe
Isle of Dogs, London - The drink-sodden, vomit-splattered Barry Humphries-esque character is seen stumbling from a London internet cafe following a ruck with management. Sixty seconds of effing and blinding immortalized on a YouBoob! vid is set to...
Read full storyAlice Roberts Fans Irate Over Scheduling Fiasco
Fans of thinking man's totty boffin Alice Roberts are furious at what they describe as a scheduling "fiasco" with tonight's prime-time viewing. Prof Roberts's latest programme Prehistoric Autopsy screens at 9pm on BBC2 - clashing directly with pop...
Read full storyTV Weatherman Blows Lid On Industry Secret
A top television weatherman has sensationally blown the lid on the secrets behind the industry, to the shock of executives and colleagues alike. The weatherman, who wishes to remain anonymous, so in keeping with his wishes we'll give him the rando...
Read full storyChris Brown in trouble over Panda Comments
Chris Brown shared a photo of himself posing with a Panda on his Twitter feed on Sunday. Members to 'Team Breezy' thought the image was cute but some women's groups have criticized the image as well as the caption which read 'Cutest looking woman I'v...
Read full storyTwitter To Launch Z-List Celebrity Only Site
Twitter is set to launch it's first spin off site this autumn, especially designed for lower rate celebrities. The new site, called Twatter, will be reserved for people like Joe Swash and anyone who is on X-Factor or Big Brother. The move come...
Read full storySparks and Mensa to team up
After reading several pieces on 'The Spoof' where Sparks and Mensa is used to denote middle England's favorite store Ron and Russell Mael better known as the band Sparks and to team up with High IQ club Mensa to promote learning. "Both Ron and I...
Read full storyThe X-Factor: The Inside Story
Simon Cowell's X-Factor television show is back on ITV for a ninth year running. The singing contest should probably have been cancelled about seven years ago. The launch of the new series went largely unnoticed, and it has now reached the live shows stage, pulling in over nine viewers a week. The list of talentless, non-celebrity, instant-celebrity egotists and wasters has not diminished. S...
Read full storySpace Loft Extension Approved By Local Government
Space is to receive a 400 million acre extension, with stunning sea views and an en-suite bathroom facility. Several planets and a plethora of stars will also be included. Local government officials initially rejected the plans, stating that the e...
Read full storyCameron to make speech on crime
Prime Minister David Cameron will today make a keynote speech on crime. However he will stop short of saying that people who swear and verbally abuse Police officers should face arrest. In the rest of Europe disrespecting a police officer is a cr...
Read full storySparks and Mensa launch their denture range
Sparks and Mensa, the high street store for those with more brains than brawn, are launching a new range of mouth wear, Denture Tools. "We're very pleased with our new range," said creator, Dennis Chure. "We think it is a step forward in teeth."...
Read full storyLady Gaga Banned From Iowa
WATERLOO, Iowa - Reports filtering out of the Niblets State, note that Lady Gaga has been asked to never ever return to the anvil-looking state again. In fact, a spokesperson for the governor's office, Hadley "Cornshuck" Blingfaust, informed the n...
Read full storyNASA Solves Mars Mystery: Leprechauns Left Gold Dust There!
When Mars rover Curiosity sent back images of soil with sparkling flecks in it, at first NASA scientists were stumped. But they kept on digging. Finally, they were able to explain those sparkles. The scientists came to the inescapable conclusion t...
Read full storyStacy Keibler Says President Obama Has Promised Her An Ambassadorship
CABO SAN LUCAS, Mexico - The stunningly attractive, 5-foot-10-inch tall Stacy Keibler and her older, good-looking boyfriend George Clooney managed to get away from the hustle and bustle of Tinsel Town for a few days. They flew down to Mexico, wher...
Read full storyThe Reason Why Britney Spears Called Off Her Engagement
HOLLYWOOD - Only two people, Simon Cowell and Demi Lovato, knew that X-Factor judge Britney Spears was going to be ending her engagement to Jason Trawick. Spears said that she did not tell fellow judge L.A. Reid simply because she does not trust h...
Read full storyMy life as a man #23
A tribute to the best friend I ever had For a man who has a generally disagreeable disposition, I manage to retain a goodly number of close friends. Admittedly, not many of those friends are women (as you are already aware of if you follow this series at all), yet enough are women that I know I'm not a total loser with women although I have done my damnedest, most of the time. Though, as...
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