Lady Gaga Banned From Iowa

Funny story written by Abel Rodriguez

Monday, 22 October 2012

image for Lady Gaga Banned From Iowa
Iowa has a $3.1 billion deal to trade corn for bananas with the country of Costa Rica.

WATERLOO, Iowa - Reports filtering out of the Niblets State, note that Lady Gaga has been asked to never ever return to the anvil-looking state again.

In fact, a spokesperson for the governor's office, Hadley "Cornshuck" Blingfaust, informed the news media that Miss Gaga has actually been banned for life and all of her concert equipment, including instruments, lighting fixtures, electrical cables, and nine cases of Lowenbrau Beer have been seized.

According to Buck Yazoo, who was covering the event for Yippee-Ki-Yay Magazine, Lady Gaga was performing in The Crop Rotation Convention Center when she offended the concert goers the second she appeared on stage dressed as a corn-on-the-cob.

Yazoo, who was sitting in the second row, stated that immediately a collective gasp went up as Lady Gaga danced and pranced towards the center of the stage.

She was dressed in an outfit imported from the Netherlands that reportedly cost $4,000 to make and $2,000 to ship to America.

The outfit which resembled a normal-looking corn on the cob was actually missing two niblets that strategically should have covered her nip*les.

Many in the audience began to holler, "Hey woman getcha two niblets from your calf region and put them up in your tata's region, we have lots of grandmothers in their 80s and 90s in the audience and they are embarrassed as hell ya hear?"

Lady Gaga smiled and simply told the concert goers to read the back of their tickets and they will see a notice stating that her corn-on-the-cob costume will be missing two niblets in the nippl*s region.

The crowd began booing. Many stood up to make their way to the exits demanding their money back.

Immediately the mayor of Waterloo the honorable Ryder "Cornflower" Scribblerweiser, jumped on stage and told Miss Gaga to exit the stage as soon as humanly possible.

She refused saying that she was going to continue with her performance.

The mayor called two Iowa state troopers over and told them to take out their taser guns because he was going to make his polite request one more time and if Miss Gaga refused to leave the stage he would give the word to go ahead and taser the niblets right off of her arrogantly stubborn-as-hell body.

And with that Gaga turned and ran off stage, immediately getting on her $1.9 million tour bus, and hollering at the driver "Tyrone quick head for Minnesota, or whatever friggin state is north of Iowa."

[EDITOR'S NOTE: Yippee-Ki-Yay Magazine is reporting that the state of Iowa has issued a life time ban against Miss Gaga, or Lady Gaga as her New York state driver's license reads. If she should ever enter the state she will be arrested and she will be fined $83,000 and incarcerated in an Iowa state prison for a period not to exceed 13 months.]

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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