Elvis Comes To Goosey Holler, Kentucky (Bluegrass #6)
Ralph was just opening up his concrete garden ornaments business after running to the bank to see if his Crazy Check had been automatically deposited when his buddy Melvin come by. "Ralph, you thank that President Orbama person will let old Raw Pand cut our Crazy Checks?" "Naw. This years a votin year. No one gonna mess with our Crazy Checks till the votins over." "Well, I brung you a nic...
Read full storyTop Brand Colas to be Yellow Following Ingredient Change
The leading soft drink suppliers Coca Cola and Pepsi have both announced that in order to meet product labelling rules in California they are reducing the amount of caramel colouring in their products. However, neither company has explained the ra...
Read full storyHellfire pastor to officiate at Obama-Cameron prayer breakfast
Washington DC - First Hellfire Tabernacle of Dupont Circle pastor the Reverend Tobias P Throttlefrotter will conduct Holy Supplication at next week's White House prayer breakfast meeting between President Obama and UK PM David Cameron. An awesome...
Read full story'This is a Fit & Proper Mess We're In' Murdoch
Outrage swept Parent company of James Murdoch, NEWS Corpse, at the suggestion that James was not fit. 'I have seen him running for cover for months' said a friend Hack Earwig 'he's very quick, even slippery. Of course he's fit!' But the question r...
Read full storyMake Bradford British
Racism is alive and well and festering in the heart of Bradford or is it? The Boy and Barrel is a pub in the heart of Bradford. We witnessed a sickening barrage of insults aimed at wonderful young Muslim woman Sabbiyah who made her case as a British citizen and rightly so. However was this racism or was the fat headed, beer swilling buffoon telling her to wear a mini skirt just an idiot. De...
Read full storyMan United quit midweek European matches because of 'busy fixture list'
Manchester United Yankee owner Win Doe Glazer has decided that the team will withdraw from all European fixtures for the rest of the season. A United spokesman confirmed the withdrawal, which will happen after next weeks Europa League second leg...
Read full storySantorum: "I never said The Virgin Mary should have had a paternity test, NEVER!!"
Rick Santorum, candidate for president of the United States, tried once again, to walk back some of his controversial statements pertaining to women. As the press corps looked on in stunned silence, he continued,"And I never said, for every great...
Read full storyObama Tackles Moby Dick
Under considerable pressure to do something to lower gasoline prices, President Obama called a surprise news conference today to announce a change of direction in our national energy policy. With Secretary of Energy Dr. Stephen Chu standing at his side, Mr. Obama announced a major new renewable resource energy initiative. Following is a transcript of the conference, Mr Obama: "Good afternoon...
Read full storyNaked WI Girls - At Her Majesty's Pleasure!
The latest batch of Women's Institute members planning to get their kit off for charity are a little bit different from the usual set... ... they're all convicts! So far the 40 WI girls at Bronzefield Prison, Surrey, have learned about baking a...
Read full storyTapping the power of the aurora
Scientists at the Gillingham Institute for Gifted Geese have finally discovered how to tap into the last of the great green sources of electricity: aurorae. "Every single day, several hundred million gigawatt of electricity are generated at both...
Read full storyBay of Biscay opened up and swallowed a team of European tiddlers!
The Spanish Armada was nothing compared to this show of Basque warfare. It seemed as though the stormy Bay of Biscay opened up and devoured a United team filled with European tiddlers! Wave after wave of them caught the "headless Tiddlers" swimmin...
Read full storyThe American Idol Judges Send Jeremy Rosado Back Home To Florida
Hollywood - American Idol's Top 13 are now The Top Dozen as the three judge eliminated 19-year-old Jeremy Rosado. Rosado and Elise Testone, 28, of Charleston, South Carolina were the two lowest vote getters. Out of 30 million votes that were cast,...
Read full storySandra Fluke's Attorney States They're Getting Ready To File A $300 Million Lawsuit Against Rush Limbaugh
LOS ANGELES - Georgetown University coed Sandra Fluke has just secured the legal services of one of the country's top attorneys, Ginger Allred, cousin of the widely known Gloria Allred. Miss Fluke stated that Miss Allred agreed to take her case on...
Read full storyDemi Moore Enters Celebrity Math Rehab
Palm Springs, CA - Filming began this week for this season's Celebrity Math Rehab where actress Demi Moore, 49, has settled in quite nicely. Moore was the last of the celebrities to join the cast, and only agreed to do so with pressure from many...
Read full storyWomen Protest on Oil Price Increase In Line with International Women's Day
JAKARTA, INDONESIA (CWTS World News) -- In line with the International Women's Day, women protest the increase of prices of cooking oil that also affected other countries worldwide. "Our concern on this issue is that women carry these kinds of bur...
Read full storyThe Queen Set To Be A Judge On 'The HRH Factor'
Television's flattest headed peddler of crap, Simon Cowell, is in advanced talks with the Queen in an attempt to convince her to be a judge on his new regality show, 'The HRH Factor'. Her majesty actually came up with the idea and pitched it to Co...
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