Man United quit midweek European matches because of 'busy fixture list'

Funny story written by radiogagger

Friday, 9 March 2012

image for Man United quit midweek European matches because of 'busy fixture list'
Less of this for Man United this season

Manchester United Yankee owner Win Doe Glazer has decided that the team will withdraw from all European fixtures for the rest of the season.

A United spokesman confirmed the withdrawal, which will happen after next weeks Europa League second leg against Athletico Bilbao.

The Spanish team lead 3-2 from the first leg at Old Trafford, where Wayne Rooney scored two consolation goals for the Red Devils.

Uniteds Champion league campaign came to an end in the group stages before Christmas after two draws against Benfica and a last match defeat to FC Basel. They also lost to Ajax in the last 16 of the Europa League but qualified 3-2 on aggregate with a 2-0 win in the first leg.

The withdrawal mirrors the 1999-2000 season when Man United pulled out of the FA Cup to play a tournament on the other side of the world.

UEFA refused to comment on the claims until fully briefed, but a United insider told the sloof "Tis true - the players are really tired and the midweek jaunts to places like Portugal, Switzerland, Hungary, Holland and now Spain are taking their toll. We have to concentrate on cementing our place as the second best team in Manchester - because Man City Reserves have strength in depth and are creeping up on us - in fact only last week they gave a debut to Argentinian international Carlos Tevez".

He added "This withdrawal has absolutely no connection to the fact that we have been beaten by all and sundry in Europe this year"

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

Comedy spoof news topics
Go to top
readers are online right now!
Globey, The Spoof's mascot

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more