Written by Big Stu

Wednesday, 28 September 2011

image for Sun says Cheryl Cole and Abominable Snowman an item
Cheryl urged to date someone closer to her intellectual level

The Sun has today reported that Cheryl Cole, following her acrimonious split from footballer husband Ashley, has began dating the political refugee and former abominable snowman Mr Yeti.

Yeti, 46, thought to be the missing link between humans and primates, arrived in Britain two days ago and was granted political asylum owing to fears of his persecution in his homeland.

Cheryl is said to have been deeply moved by Mr Yeti's plight and responded to an appeal that somebody read out for her by Amnesty International who are trying to prevent his deportation.

The pair have been seen together at several nightclubs in Mayfair, although a spokesperson for Ms Cole has insisted they are simply friends and that she wishes to keep her steamy affair with a rampant seven-foot shaggy haired ape-beast strictly private relationship.

Counsellors have branded the move unwise, citing the great gulf between their respective intellects and some have suggested Ms Cole should date someone closer to her own level.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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Topics: Cheryl Cole, Bigfoot

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