Chaz Bono To Play Elvis In Remake of Viva Las Vegas: Vagina To Play Ann-Margret
HOLLYWOOD: It was announced today that Bad Dream Studios will be starting production of a remake of the 1964 romantic comedy, Viva Las Vegas. In the original movie, which both critics and fans considered one of Elvis Presley's best, Elvis co-star...
Read full storyThe Blonde Nurse: A Medieval Limericke
A Limericke about the Incompatibility of Medical Intelligence with Nurses Adorned with Blonde Locks on the Occasion of a Major Scandal that Erupted in The Royal Hospital of Maladies Odd-And-Unusual: Presented in Its Entirety by the Poet Laureate on the Mundane, the Preposterous, and the Absurd: Sir Percival Blink, Esq. to His Most Excellent, Gracious Majesty, Pasquale II, as He Recovers fro...
Read full storyRumsfeld cancels Times subscription, his dogs upset
Washington--Donald Rumsfeld went to Twitter to tell the world that his dogs won't be peeing on the New York Times anymore, now that he canceled his subscription to the liberal rag. "I can't believe a pundit would say something controversial, it j...
Read full storyWrinkly clothes? There's an app for that
Hot of the presses, literately, is a new app from the people that created iWeigh and iSpy. This is quite figuratively the hottest new app to hit the app market since buns were crossed. "I'm very excited," said Mac Buck, editor of App World!. "I'm...
Read full storyBad case of the runs causes security scares on Sept. 11 flight
"Don't eat Mabel's baked beans before a September 11 flight," was the response given by Willy Grey to officials after an American Airlines flight was escorted to Atlanta by F-16 fighter jets. Flight personnel alerted the pilot after noticing two p...
Read full storySomething Happened In Droitwich Over The Weekend
Reports are a little sketchy at this point, but it is believed that something happened in Droitwich over the weekend, and the locals are deeply concerned. One resident, standing guard on the driveway of his semi-detached residence told reporters t...
Read full storySerena Williams flashes her butt at the umpire after getting her knickers in a twist!
The US women's open final this year was full of thrills and spills and they had nothing to do with the tennis after Sam Stosur (a real woman by the way despite her butch name) trounced Serena Williams 6-2, 6-3. But as usual Serena stole the show and...
Read full storyPlants keep dying? There's an app for that
Apple Labs have unveiled their latest applelet for the iPhone family: iPlant. This new app is slightly more expensive than other Apple apps, as it comes with two dozen Wifi enabled devices that are dropped in plant pots around the house. Once set...
Read full storyWestminster Cathedral 'sold to the Chinese'
London - A reported $100 million has exchanged hands in a property deal that will see the fin de siècle erection taken down brick by brick (sic) and transported to Shanghai. Chinese officials said today the cathedral will be rebuilt on the banks o...
Read full storyQuaddaffy Still Tweeting: Claims Britain Full of "insufferable bastards!"
A shell shocked Muammaar Quaddafy is still alive and tweeting from somewhere in Libya according to several of his fans who still follow him on the anti-social networking site! In a series of 140 character rants the Libyan despot still claims he...
Read full storyMan-eating fridge freezer sighted off St Ives coast
Reports are coming in from Cornwall that a man-eating fridge freezer has been spotted basking in St Ives waters: "The massive beast came within yards of my boat as i was trawling round Zennor Head" said fisherman Blimey Windy. Now speculation is m...
Read full storySchumacher's 200-Mile Wrong Way F1 Drive at Monza GP
The actions of a father of two who drove 200 miles the wrong way along a Monza race-track while five times over the drunk-with-power limit has been 'ignored' by race stewards. Michael Schumacher, 42, of Gland, Switzerland, performed a U-turn and d...
Read full storyMalayan tiger kills intended mate out of jealousy
EL PASO, Tx.--Seri, 3, is currently being held in custody for allegedly murdering Wzui, 6, her intended mate at the El Paso Zoo. Although autopsy results have not been released, sources believe Wzui died as a result of castration by forepaw. Accor...
Read full storyMen's voices are getting higher
Recordings from the early twentieth century have been extensively analysed by students at Uttoxeter University and compared to recordings over the intervening years. There have been several remarkable discoveries, including the fascinating fact that...
Read full storyHeidi Montag Reveals She Has A Crush On The Kinetic King Who Appeared on America's Got Talent
HOLLYWOOD - One Hollywood celebrity who does not seem to have a shortage of male suitors is none other than Heidi Montag. Montag, who has so far had a total of 38 cosmetic surgeries as well as enhancement, enlargement, and tightening surgeries rec...
Read full storyThe promise of 72 virgins less of an incentive for would-be suicide bombers than it was 10 years ago
KRWENY, Iraq--Islamic terror organizations report that the promise of 72 virgins in heaven to every suicide bomber isn't the dangling carrot it was back on September 11, 2001. Due to the wide availability of the Internet in the past decade, would-...
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