Westminster Cathedral 'sold to the Chinese'

Written by queen mudder

Monday, 12 September 2011

image for Westminster Cathedral 'sold to the Chinese'
Shanghai is located about half way down China's east coast

London - A reported $100 million has exchanged hands in a property deal that will see the fin de si├Ęcle erection taken down brick by brick (sic) and transported to Shanghai.

Chinese officials said today the cathedral will be rebuilt on the banks of the Huangpu River where it's set to become the city's premier registry office venue.

Demand for western-style white weddings continues to soar in the country with many couples happy to pay over the odds to tie the knot in authentic-looking ecclesiastical settings.

Last year a replica UK Hellfire Club chapel saw 50,000 get hitched under its roof in a nostalgic move to recreate the heady Aleister Crowley days of yore.

This week's sale comes amid more than a century of Londoners' gripes that the building is a dreadful blot on the capital, conceals an underground casino run by the satanic/masonic P2 Lodge and should be replaced with social housing for the homeless.

A spokesperson for the diocese said today the dosh will come in handy given depleted church coffers need 'an EU-sized handout' to stave off imminent bankruptcy.

The first bit of masonry removal is scheduled for April 1st 2012.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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