Plants keep dying? There's an app for that

Funny story written by IainB

Monday, 12 September 2011

image for Plants keep dying? There's an app for that
Cannabis: Not to be included in any future release

Apple Labs have unveiled their latest applelet for the iPhone family: iPlant.

This new app is slightly more expensive than other Apple apps, as it comes with two dozen Wifi enabled devices that are dropped in plant pots around the house. Once set up and installed it will monitor the health and humidity of the plants the iPlant Transmitters are associated with. Their status can be accessed from anywhere in the world via the iPhone app in graphical form, giving email and app alerts when plants get to a critical level.

"This is very beneficial app for the dedicated geek," said App World! editor, Mac Buck. "I'd go as far as to say it is indispensable."

According to the editor, this app has saved his entire house worth of potted house plants from dying.

"I guess most geeks are like me," he said. "They are too busy playing Gears of War and using the FarmVille App to take any notice of the health of their house plants. This results in a house full of brown dried up sticks. Since installing this app, I have not had a single plant die on me."

The only downside Buck can find for the applelet is that it is not particularly attuned to the plants it is associated with.

"I get constant alerts about my cacti," he said. "I've told it a hundred times that they don't need watering, but it's quite insistent. Conversely, my sun-dew needs more water than a field full of strawberries, and it's nearly died twice."

The creators of the iPlant app have promised that version two will have a greater database of plants, and each transmitter can be allocated the plant that is associated with, which will prevent this problem in the future. The one plant they will not be adding to the database is hemp, as the creators do not want their app used by illicit drug manufacturers.

"The future's bright," said Buck. "Except in my bathroom where the mother in law's tongue is running rampant on the windowsill."

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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