Written by Inchcock

Thursday, 6 October 2011

image for Conservative Party Conference Report
Mr Lotacash, offering his support at a recent Nottingham Lib-Dem Meeting

Conservative Minister's idea to improve numeracy and literacy!

Pupils who fail to get decent GCSEs in maths and English should keep studying for new subjects, ministers have announced this morning.

The move follows complaints from the business world that too many school-leavers don't have decent levels of numeracy and literacy.

One idea, rejected by the assembly, came from Nottingham Conservative Ivor Lotacash (The other Conservative from Nottingham could not attend, as he had to close down another Nottingham factory at the weekend) who said;

"My idea to improve numeracy and literacy within Nottingham, was to add to the subjects of the GCSE examinations.

I feel sure if they were to introduce tests for 'Police Station Fire Bombing', 'Shop Lifting', 'Long Distance Spitting', and 'Grunting', the youth of this wonderful City would fly through the tests with ease, thus helping them to join the other 45% of already unemployed youths, but with an advantage? No?"

Mr Lotacash was forcibly removed from meeting, and taken for psychiatric help and treatment.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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