Manager says he did hear Terry call Ferdinand a 'black c##t'
The manager of the London Wetlands Centre admitted today that he overheard Terry the bird feeder call Ferdinand the Eurasion Coot a 'black c##t'. 'I was shocked' said Mr Warnock who has managed the bird sanctuary in West London for 2 years. 'I can...
Read full storyJo Brand kidnapped by a bull seal
During the filming of the second series of her TV show Jo Brand's Big Splash Jo Brand was captured by a bull seal just off the coast of Orkney. "It was very exciting," said Brand after she was rescued. "Not." Jo Brand was attempting to swim fro...
Read full storyIndian "Head Bangers" wearing turbans trash stage at Metallica concert!
Metallica were supposed to play an open-air concert in Delhi last Friday, but the concert was called off due to crazed, turbaned Indian "head-bangers" trashing the stage before the concert began. 25000 head-bangers, who had never ever seen a heavy...
Read full storySocks steal the show during London Fashion Week
London Fashion Week has had its socks blown off by socks. "They're the must have accessory this winter," said fashionista, Gok Wan. "It's what all the fashionably warm people will be wearing." After last winter's fashion of flip flops saw two d...
Read full storyRomney says Evangelical Christians are a cult!
Mitt Romney appeared at a presidential debate last night and many pundits said it was the death knell of his presidential campaign. Romney took the podium, looked at the other candidates and stated the following: "Jesus said. Let he who is wit...
Read full storyThe Beginner's Guide Special Edition: Ten Things To Know About Halloween
Hello, and welcome to this special edition of our Beginners Guide's. The chill of winter is upon us, and as those cold, misty nights draw in, so too does the fear of the dark. Each year we celebrate Halloween, the time when the veil between that which is living and that which is dead is at it's thinnest. All year we try our best to keep our children safe from the fears and scary reality o...
Read full storyKitty Brucknell, Frankie Cocozza, Janet Devlin And Johnny Robinson To Dance The Gay Dork On X-Factor - With Gerbils
Four X-Factor contestants are gearing up to dance the Gay Dork - Britain's latest dance craze - live on TV, Sunday evening. Kitty Brucknell, Frankie Cocozza, Janet Devlin and Johnny Robinson were inspired by the idea, which originated on a satirical...
Read full storyStamp Collector Goes Ape Shit - In Scooterville
A crazed stamp collector has gone postal after realizing that there is simply no pleasing some people. John Cockspur, no relation to famed inventor Larry Cockspur, totally lost it after he was accused of skullduggery after donating several thousa...
Read full storyQueen's astrology scorn that Halloween 'will be her last'
London - Snakes-in-the-Wold resident Mrs Dymphna Cockles, MBE, consultant astrologer to the Illuminati, said today she'd witnessed the death star's shadow transiting HM's pallid gob in Australia during a Commonwealth barbie. "All the signs are tha...
Read full storyJamie Lee Curtis Not Going Out This Halloween
Hollywood scream queen Jamie Lee Curtis has announced that she isn't going out this Halloween. Ms Curtis revealed that a sequence of unfortunate events appear to have dogged her throughout her life, with most occurring on the night of October 31st.
Read full storyScooterville Twinned With Bulgarian Capital Sofia
Scooterville, NJ (pop 257), has been twinned with the Bulgarian city of Sofia, according to mayor Randy Cockspur, head of the one man panel of twinning issues. The announcement has come as a complete shock to both the residents of Scooterville a...
Read full storyScarlett Johansson the most beautiful woman in the world
For centuries humankind has been asking who the most beautiful woman in the world could be. Some have said it's Aretha Franklin, Macy Gray, Maya Angelo and even Susan Boyle. Based on internet polls it appears she has been found. She holds the cur...
Read full storyDancing With The Stars To Be a London 2012 Olympic Event
Strike up the band and get out your dancing shoes. It's just been confirmed that the U.S. blockbuster TV show DWTS will be a competitive "sport" at the London 2012 Olympics. The names of all the contestants have yet to be announced. But ther...
Read full storyHalloween Monsters Really Do Exist
With Halloween around the corner society has come to the realization that monsters may really be lurking out on Halloween night. Communities around Los Angeles plan to take action to protect children from real life monsters also known as offenders.
Read full storyUS Tests Fish Currency Program
Washington, DC - The United States has begun talks of eliminating the dollar bill and replacing it with fish in the case that the dollar coin, of which there are millions sitting in vaults, will not take off because no one wants to be bothered with c...
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