Romney says Evangelical Christians are a cult!

Funny story written by b kenneth mcgee

Sunday, 30 October 2011


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Mitt Romney appeared at a presidential debate last night and many pundits said it was the death knell of his presidential campaign.

Romney took the podium, looked at the other candidates and stated the following:

"Jesus said. Let he who is without sin cast the first stone. You folks ever hear of that?"

The other candidates looked startled and the crowd groaned in unison.

Romney continued: "Many of you talk in the name of Jesus, while subverting his message and perverting his name. You have become, in fact, a cult. To this end, I am sick and tired of you folks and those that sit before us taking shots at my religion. You good and supposedly pious people don't say it out loud. No, you sneak around, place anonymous quotes in the media, and wink-wink nod-nod when asked if my religion is a factor in this race. Well, let me tell you something. You are hypocrites!"

The crowd was stunned into silence.

Romney continued:

"How about you Newt? Your sly little remarks in private settings about the fact that in the old days, certain folks in my religion condoned multiple marriages at the same time. What about your three marriages? Not all at the same time, you say. Really? Seems to be some doubt about that. And you Ron, you're really a smart guy in many ways, but you are so close to certifiable, you're lucky they don't come for you with a net! How about you Herman? I hope you sell a lot of books and I'd keep my day job with the pizza thing. You have become the butt of your own cruel joke. Michele, quit before you embarrass yourself any further. Even Jesus must have only so much patience to be used in this way."

The other candidates appeared confused and frightened as he continued.

"And Rick, you really should just go back to Texas. You gave it your best, whatever that is. You have been walking around in cow flop for far too long and frankly, I'm not sure even Texas deserves you!

Romney closed with the following:

"The fact is, I have flipped and I have flopped. I wanted this so badly, I sold myself to the narrow minded, the bigoted, and quite frankly, the dull witted. No more! I am the best candidate the GOP has to offer and I am going to tell it like it is. If you don't like who I am, in the words of the famous Edward R. Murrow, good night and good luck!"

The hall was hushed and not a sound was heard. Then, one person stood up and started to clap in a slow cadence. Then another did the same, then several more and suddenly several hundred were standing and clapping in slow cadence until the entire room broke into applause and shouts of---"Yes!"

An AP reporter turned to a colleague and said,--- "I'll be damned!"

An anonymous source within the White House reports that President Obama watched the debate with a few aides. At the end he supposedly got up, turned of the TV and left the room. He was heard to mutter to himself as he left the room---"Oh shit!"

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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