NBA Lockout May Be Over, Players Have to Relearn the Game

Funny story written by Gail Farrelly

Sunday, 27 November 2011

image for NBA Lockout May Be Over, Players Have to Relearn the Game
The players are like new kids on the block.

The good news is that professional basketball in the U.S. may soon be making its return. The bad news is that many of the players need to be retrained in their field of endeavor.

Absence may make the heart grow fonder, but apparently it does nothing to keep basketball skills up to par. A disappointed fan, having observed a practice session today, commented, "You'd think it would be like riding a bike, you'd never forget." He shook his head from side to side, saying, "Apparently that's not the case with basketball."

He reported that many of the players didn't even have the appropriate footwear for practice. A few wore fashionable leather boots; others wore Dockers shoes and no socks, as if they were going on a cruise instead of onto a basketball court.

They seemed to know that the object of the game was to get the ball into the hoop, but some had trouble even finding the basket, thinking that its placement was ON the playing floor rather than ABOVE it. The exasperated coach was heard advising, "Look up, look up, you'll see the hoop." As players made lackluster attempts to land a basket with their feet planted on the floor, the coach screamed, "Jump, remember, ya gotta jump. Higher, higher, you nitwits."

A scary moment occurred when the coach shouted, "Shoot, shoot," and several players reached into their pants and whipped out guns!

The dejected fan reported that he finally left the practice session when a player was ordered to dribble and promptly did so, but not via the ball. "That did it for me," the fan said. "All that drool. Disgusting!"

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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