Obama Orders Justice Dept To Prosecute Alfred E Newman For False Impersonation
Rachel Maddow of MSNBC reported that her sources in the Justice Department heard that Attorney General Eric Holder was ordered by President Obama to prosecute "What Me Worry" Alfred E Newman for impersonating the President. Although Newman's fac...
Read full storySpirograph All Set To Make A Comeback
Children's educational geometric pen, paper, and plastic circle with little holes and pins toy, Spirograph, appears to be enjoying something of a resurgence in popularity according to business analysts. A sudden spike in sales of Spirograph is bel...
Read full storyYou Heard It Here First
A group of Scientists at Wrexham Polytechnic have invented a gadget which they think could change the world we live in. Group spokesperson Ivor Tiddler agreed to talk to a packed Press Room this lunchtime. 'This is about as good as it gets,' s...
Read full storyGlasgow Celtic, the Susan Boyle effect and the debacle at Parkhead
The truth about the debacle at Parkhead between Glasgow Rangers and Glasgow Celtic can be revealed. Glasgow Celtic (not THE Celtics of Boston) players have taken to reading the Susan Boyle autobiography, "Who I was born to be", before each match.
Read full storyRevealed: What McCoist said to Lennon
The whole shocking truth about what Coisty said to Lennon has been revealed by a totally neutral fan who was standing close by. The fan revealed that Coisty shook Lennon's hand and then whispered in his ear. "We know about the Giant Penguin."...
Read full storyRedundant Civil Servant Speaks Out
After twenty five years as a civil servant, Reginald Perry is speaking out about his feelings at being made redundant. Last week I went to my last meeting about meetings I will never go to' he explained with tears in his eyes 'now I will have to h...
Read full storyAston Villa's Ashley Young Gladly Accepts Queen Elizabeth's Invitation To Attend Prince William and Kate Middleton's Wedding
BIRMINGHAM, England - Twenty-five-year-old football star Ashley Young has just received the thrill of his young life. He recently received a personal invitation from Queen Elizabeth II, to attend her grandson Prince William's wedding to Kate Middl...
Read full storyMan Utd starlet trashes luxury hotel suite and Sir Alex didn't mind!
A very frustrated Man Utd starlet went out on the town in London after he had given away the penalty which decided the clash of giants on Tuesday night, booked a luxury suite in the posh Mayfair Hotel and trashed his suite just like Metallica or the...
Read full storyScoreboard Stolen
Police are investigating the theft of a scoreboard from the grounds of the Wakefield Trinity Wildcats. Chief Superintendant Crapper, speaking to a host of reporters and film crews, explained that he would leave no stone unturned in the search for...
Read full storyFlying Saucers - The Truth
Today we can report on the extraordinary knowledge we have obtained from secret files left by a civil servant on a train travelling to Guildford. These files were handed to me by Spoof's editor in space because they contained all the secret evide...
Read full storyOld Firm to form Elite League among themselves
It's been coming for a while. But finally today, it's happened. After last night's explosive big game in which not only fans but members of the clubs' management teams clashed, the Old Firm, the Glasgow Police, the Scottish Premier League and the...
Read full storyMount St. Helens Ready to Blow Again!
Shaken by a mild earthquake after two months of earth tremors, citizens of the state of Washington are on edge again, afraid that the volcano on Mount St. Helens may blow again. "Just like last time, in 19 ought 80, no one warns us that that mount...
Read full storyYouTube Movie Embarrasses Robert Pattinson to Death
An amateur movie that was loaned out to a friend of the family has Robert Pattinson going slightly nuts. "If you want to see a red-faced Pattinson, you may get to do exactly that unless he can get that old family movie back", stated Lizzy Pattinso...
Read full storyLocal Man Goes Crazy Reading Spoof Site
Robert Kristen of Podunk, Kentucky has been committed to the Lautner Funny Farm and his wife has told the whole Podunk community that it is due to his reading all those Spoof stories. "He started seeing what he thought was his own name so he went...
Read full storyDaily Mail starts fund to pay for Exorcism of Facebook
The Daily Mail has long held the belief that Facebook is evil and the obvious cause of many atrocities. Now with half the UK population having signed up to Facebook, the newspaper has decided that banning it is probably not feasible. Instead, the...
Read full storyToday's News With Rush Limbo #11
Today's News With Rush Limbo Good morning. We're back for another eleven hours of truth and insight! Here's what's happening: Sarah Palin now has her tenth polar bear rug. She stated that this was by far the toughest one yet. It almost caused the helicopter to crash. Charlie Sheen has asked me to help him get back on his show. He was at a party last night and I told him I'd try to see if...
Read full storyKerry Katona and Her 'Dancing On Ice' Partner Daniel Whiston Seen 'Passionately Snuggling' Down By London's Thames River
LONDON - Since being eliminated on the reality show Dancing On Ice, dance skating partners Kerry Katona and Daniel Whiston have kept in close contact. The two call each other on a daily basis and talk about the show, the upcoming Prince William-Ka...
Read full storyColonel Gaddafi to run London's Docklands Light Railway
In a surprise move announced today, Colonel Gadaffi said he was throwing in the towel - or at least that bright orange thing he sometimes wears on his head - and is accepting the job offered to him by Lord Coe to become manager of the Dockland's Ligh...
Read full storyGirls who smoke have sex earlier
A new study from Lincolnshire University of Science and Technology has revealed that girls who smoke have sex earlier than non-smokers. "We have conductive an extensive survey," said Alec Coucher, head of Intimate Studies at LUST. "Having factored...
Read full storyRendelsham UFO files hide nuke attempt and collusion with royal alien/human hybrids
London - A covert UK Thought Police unit monitoring alien/human hybrid sub-space freak-uencies narrowly averted the destruction of a British nuclear base. But classified papers recording the incident have been surgically removed from the National...
Read full storyColonel Moammar Gadhafi Has Agreed To Make A Guest Appearance On "The Vampire Dairies"
TRIPOLI, Libya - A spokeswoman for The Vampire Diaries has announced that the rumor about Libya's Colonel Moammar Gadhafi, 68, making an appearance on the Nina Dobrev - Ian Somerhalder show are in fact true. Loretta L. Luftnagle did in fact confir...
Read full storyMiley Cyrus: I Was Born in a Jail
Singer, actor Miley Ray Cyrus has admitted that she was actually born in jail. "It wasn't like what you think", she explained in teen terms. The story had been buzzing around Nashville for several years and so Miley decided to finally open up o...
Read full storyRooney Targets Vulnerable Fanni
Wayne Rooney is looking to exploit Fanni ahead of Manchester United's Champions League last 16, second leg tie with French club Marseille. Rooney was pleased with the joy he received when attacking Fanni in the channels during the first leg last eigh...
Read full storyFish Pedicures Under Investigation
A controversial new treatment is under investigation from health experts after concerns were raised that it might be linked to infections. The latest craze is called fish pedicures and this involves Garra Rufa fish nibbling away at people's feet t...
Read full storyPickles Warning Over Council Cuts
Councils all over the UK have been warned that the swingeing cuts they will have to make over the coming years will affect the quality of catering they provide at training courses. Chief Executive of Lambeth Council, Seth Goldstein, announced that...
Read full storyDundee United FC In Turmoil
Scottish Premier League outfit Dundee United have been thrown into chaos after chairman Steven Thomson suspended all 16 of the first team squad that were on duty against Inverness Caledonian Thistle on Tuesday. A furious chairman told the press "I...
Read full storyGlobal Audience For Old Firm Epic
The Old Firm, the pride of Scottish football, showcased the best of the great game in an epic 5th round Scottish Cup last night. Although Celtic sneaked through to the quarter finals thanks to a Mark Wilson , the game pulsed with excitement,tensio...
Read full storyWhich Former Dictator Will Take Over for Charlie Sheen?
CBS has announced that it is in negotiations with former heads of state Ben Ali of Tunisia and Hosni Mubarak of Egypt to take over for Charlie Sheen in the hit comedy series "2 and a Half Men". Creator of the show, Chuck Lorre said that the talk...
Read full storyCharlie Sheen Recants
Charlie Sheen, as expected, climbed down from his ego-maniacal horse earlier today. After a meeting with his father Martin and studio executives, in the course of which it was spelt out in great detail what he stood to lose as a man and an actor, Sheen saw the error of his ways. The following is a transcript of an interview with Larry King to be screened tonight. Charlie will also be appearing...
Read full storyThe Reason Why Melissa and Joan Rivers Were Not Asked To Do 'Dancing With The Stars'
HOLLYWOOD - As soon as this years eleven contestants on Dancing With The Stars were announced an angry Joan Rivers called up the DWTS producer and asked her why she and her semi-pretty daughter Melissa had been overlooked as contestants again. Rivers pointed out to DWTS Producer Bernadette Penderlicki that probably 95 percent of the shows viewers have never heard of Mike Catherwood or Chelsea K...
Read full storyGermany in Shock over Plagiarism Charges against Defence Minister
The sudden resignation of Karl Theodore Zu Guttenberg, Germany's Defence Minister and the country's most popular politician has sent shock waves around the world. Guttenberg was accused of plagiarising large tracts of text and stealing ideas fro...
Read full storyAngelina Jolie Hates The Way She Is Starting To Look - Says She Wants To Get The Heidi Montag Youthful Look
BEVERLY HILLS - Angelina Jolie recently visited Dr. Vernon Celticbridge who is regarded as one of the foremost plastic surgeons in the country. Jolie has revealed to several of her closest friends that she hates the way she looks when she looks in...
Read full storyCharlie Sheen Loses Custody Of His Twins - "No Problem, I'll Just Have Some More"
BEVERLY HILLS - Charlie Sheen sat in the living room of his Mulholland Estates mansion, nicknamed Casa Jose Cuervo playing with his twin two-year-old boys Maximum and Bobblehead. And as the boys played with their toy gold-plated Lincoln Logs Charlie sat in his favorite recliner watching reruns of the number one rated sit-com on television Two and A Half Men. "Hey I remember boinking that gir...
Read full storyRoyal couple opts for "pot-luck" wedding
In an effort to separate theirs from the reigning capitalist paradigm, William and Kate have decided to plan a multi-cultural eco-friendly wedding. Guests have been sent their food assignments rumored to include things like fried chicken, potato...
Read full storyCheryl Cole To Take 'Emma Thompson Lessons'
Cheryl Cole, the new star of the US version of the X Factor, is to attempt to bury her strong Newcastle accent so that her new American audience can understand her, and will commence taking 'Emma Thompson lessons' immediately. Cole's Geordie slur-...
Read full storyPorn Industry Hoping to do its Part in Combating Fuel Price Spikes
SANTA MONICA, CA - It seems everyone these days is affected by the turmoil in the Middle East and North Africa. When trouble erupts in these volatile regions of the world, oil prices are surely to be negatively influenced. Consequently, every aspec...
Read full storyJeremy Clarkson in a Tutu on TV: Send cash and I'll make it happen!
The BBC's Comic Relief co-ordinator Ned Roseday has made a pledge that if enough people donate to their fundraising appeal he will force Jeremy Clarkson to re-enact a scene from the film Black Swan in full costume. "It's a little known clause in h...
Read full storyCharlie Sheen Shows Up in Libya
Actor Charlie Sheen has shown up in Libya and is a big hit with Colonel Muammar Gadhafi! "I'm here to study Colonel Gadhafi so I can play him in a movie after he dies a martyr", Sheen told Al-Jazeer television. Then he did a little dance. "I'll...
Read full storyMoammar Gadhafi, Led By Gadhafi Himself in a White Robe & on Horseback, Retakes Control of Towns
Moammar Gadhafi or "Old Gad-About" to his intimate friend, now claims that he has personally led his forces to retake several small towns around the Libyan Capital, while riding a white horse! "We were victorious against the whole al-Qaida army pl...
Read full storyCharlie Sheen: I Crapped Under Rehab Instructor's Desk
Undercover reporter Cheyenne Childress got this story for us while using a new listening device that can pick up people at other tables in the restaurant or so we're told. "Actually, I was at Teddy's Place, the Club, but the device doesn't record...
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