DSK: "I Stand Firmly Behind Congressman Weiner As He Fights for Justice and Human Rights!"
Former IMF CEO and invertebrate Frenchman Dominique Strauss Kahn said today he stands in solidarity behind Congressman Anthony Weiner after his admission of sending extreme sexual texts and cloaked and uncloaked penis pictures! The Frenchman, who...
Read full storyPinnochoio Weiner Admits He's a Perv, a Liar, & Deviant, With a Wanking Problem - But Won't Resign!
Congressman Anthony Weiner appeared in a bizarre national press conference to confirm what had become apparent in the past few days, the man is a serial internet wanker! Despite his short comings, which continue to pour in, and led to his startl...
Read full storyPolice Department Budget Cuts Force The Laying Off of Paro The K-9 Pooch
EAST HAVEN, Connecticut - Well it was a sad day at the East Haven Police Department. The economic crisis had forced the department to make a budget cut and sad to say Paro the police dog had been earmarked to be laid off. The five-year-old German...
Read full storyApple ICloud Sends Angry Shockwaves Through BBC Weather Office
The Apple icloud has been revealed, along with the news that it is to be represented by a shiny silver cloud symbol. This cloud symbol has sent shock waves through the world of weather, because everybody knows that that cloud symbol is the BBC we...
Read full storyVince Cable Warns Against General Strike
The Coalition government's Business secretary Vince Cable was given a hostile reception at the GMB annual conference in Brighton when he suggested that new legislation might be introduced if there was a wave of general strikes this year. Cable def...
Read full storyMan Utd Twins Take Out Super Injunction
Manchester United's brothers Rafael and Fabio da Silva have taken out a super injunction ordering the news media to report something about them before the end of the close season other than the fact that they're twins. Their agent Eduardo Benitez...
Read full storyAnother Nottingham Man committed to Asylum
Ophelia Payne, the caretaker of the NHS 'Upper Denture Insane Asylum', Nottinghamshire, has notified the local paper, 'The Daily Liar', that a third Nottingham man has been admitted for his own safety, suffering from Obsessive-compulsive personality...
Read full storyMillions miss out on London 2012 tickets and escape bankruptcy
The news that nearly 2 million people have failed to win any Olympic tickets for London 2012 has been met with great relief up and down the country. Hundreds of thousands of people have expressed their delight in not having to sell their organs to wa...
Read full storyLily Allen and Sister in Giant Tent Disaster
Lily Allen and her older sister Sarah have reportedly been involved in a disaster involving two giant tents. One of the Tents was a pretty petrol blue colour, and the other was red with colourful sparkles. It had previously been rumoured that th...
Read full storyWelsh Wizard proves that Welsh men are not just sheep-shaggers!
A Welsh Wizard called Bryan Briggs (name changed for legal reasons and nothing to do with that other Welsh Wizard who the Sun nailed!) has actually proven that there is hope for Welsh men to relinquish their reputations as Nr1 global sheep-shaggers (...
Read full storyAnthony Weiner Blames Anal Vacuum Pump For Sucked Up Face
BREAKING NEWS: New York Congressman Anthony Weiner, when asked by a reporter why his sucked-up face looked like he had just stuck his head in a wind tunnel, responded by saying that he suffered from Stage IV acne when he was a teenager, and the doct...
Read full storyJustin Timberlake and His Girlfriend Mila Kunis Explain Their Sexual Groping At The MTV Movie Awards
LOS ANGELES - Well it's only been a little over two months since Justin Timberlake broke up with Jessica Biel but you've got to hand it to the skinny little fella he sure does know how to move on. Justin, 30, showed up at the MTV Movie Awards wit...
Read full storySteve Jobs to Personally Negotiate with St. Peter for the Rights to "iCloud"
Apple CEO Steve Jobs is hastening his arrival at the Pearly Gates, so he can personally negotiate with St. Peter for the rights to the name "iCloud." Apple had planned to launch its new iCloud product this week. But then its lawyers discovered tha...
Read full storyLocal Man In Horrific Flying Ant Terror Shocker
Local man, Martin Shuttlecock, who frequently describes himself as 'a suave and sophisticated man about town' (Somewhat misguidedly, it has to be said.) was reduced to a jibbering wreck last night following a horrific terror attack shocker perpetrate...
Read full storyGiggs and Rooney in news again but for different reasons
So, Ryan Giggs is a 'cheating dog'. Down boy! It is now reported that he had an affair with his wife's sister. How low can he stoop? Doing the dirty on his very own doorstep. Christmases and other family gatherings will NEVER be the same now th...
Read full storySecrets of organic meat revealed
Today a report was released by the Council of Organic Meat Engineers (COME) which promises to shock the entire meat industry. The in-your-face COME report describes why organic meat tastes better than non-organic meat, and apparently it's all to do w...
Read full storyMTV Movie Awards - Reese Witherspoon Slam Dunks Sex Symbols Kim Kardashian And Blake Lively
Water For Elephants star, Reese Witherspoon stunned the audience at LA's Gibson Amphitheater, Sunday as she accepted the 'Generation Award.' In her acceptance speech, she slam dunked reality TV show star Kim Kardashian, and others of that ilk, suc...
Read full storyMTV Movie Awards - Downright Dirty - Timberlake And Kunis In Gropeathon
Critics today appeared to be pretty universal in their condemnation of the MTV Movie Awards at LA's Gibson Amphitheater, slamming the show for being 'downright dirty' and complaining about the persistent use of cuss words. The 'dirty' part occurre...
Read full storyJoe Jonas Offers To Buy Robert Pattinson's Texas Ranch
SAN FRANCISCO - Joe Jonas traveled to The Golden Gate City to relax after a grueling concert tour with his band the Jonas Brothers. He was relaxing down at the Fisherman's Wharf when he was approached by a reporter for iRumors Summersetter Faxx.
Read full storyWilliam to ride trusty steed Gravytrain in Trooping the Colour
London - He's taking no chances after Saturday's Epsom Salts - er...Derby! - fiasco that saw talking whorse Carlton House strip punch-drunk Brits of £25million in failed bets. This coming weekend silly self-publicist/mug punter Prince William aims...
Read full storyMarried Footballer "Brings Shame on Game"
A Premier League Footballer has taken out a super injunction following the rumours he is happily married and has remained faithful to his wife of 12 years. For many involved in the sport this revelation could not have come at a worse time, with the...
Read full storyPalin Sets Out Her Campaign Agenda
Weird and wacky right winger Sara Palin gave the strongest clue so far that she would be throwing her hat in the ring for the 2012 Republican nomination when she laid down several strong policy statements. Palin, who is in the middle of her "One N...
Read full storyChildren To Be Protected From Inappropriate TV Programming
Child welfare groups have welcomed a range of government proposals aimed at protecting children from inappropriate TV programming. The Bailey Review contains a number of measures aimed at ensuring that younger viewers aren't over exposed to what i...
Read full storyBritain's Got Talent runner-up might be Simon Cowell's love child
Following the conclusion of the 2011 "Britain's Got Talent" final, it was revealed that the runner-up in this year's competition, youngster Ronan Parke, might in fact be Simon Cowell's love child. Speaking from behind his huge telephoto lens, Dave...
Read full storyHair transplant rejects Wayne Rooney
Manchester United and England slaphead Wayne Rooney has sustained a freak injury. The footballer will be out of action for several weeks after being rejected by his hair transplant. Rooney is reported to have spent several thousand pounds at a H...
Read full storyCelebrity Shocker: Derek Hough Dumps His Girlfriend Cheryl Cole
HOLLYWOOD - Dancing With The Stars dancer Derek Hough has admitted that his relationship with Cheryl Cole has hit the rocks and their sultry ship has sunk to the bottom. Hough explained to Tittle Tattle Tonight's Pico de Gallo that he just got to...
Read full storyNew Referee Post Created In Scotland
The Scottish Football Association has created a new refereeing post in an attempt to address the increasing pressures being placed on officials north of the border. A refereeing recruitment and education manager will take up the post on July 1st a...
Read full storyNadal Gets Bonus Trophy For French Triumph
After winning the French Open Grand Slam title for the 6th time at Roland Garros yesterday, World Number One Rafael Nadal has received a well deserved extra award. The 23 year old Spaniard beat Roger Federer for the 5th time out of 5 occasions, so...
Read full storyChristain group launches It Doesn't Get Worse Than Hell project
In response to a rash of suicides by bullied LGBT adolescents around the country, the American Family Association has launched a campaign to remind LGBT kids of the wages of sin, called It Doesn't Get Worse Than Hell. The viral effort, launched last...
Read full storyJustin Bieber and Selena Gomez Have Both Agreed To Appear On The Next Edition of Dancing With The Stars
TARZANA, California - Due to the amazing success that Dancing With The Stars had with two very young dance contestants this year, the producers have approached teen stars Justin Bieber and his girlfriend Selena Gomez about appearing on the next seaso...
Read full storyNina Dobrev and Ian Somerhalder Seen Vo-Di-Oh-Doe-Ing At Yellowstone National Park
INDIAN CREEK, Wyoming - Ian Somerhalder and Nina Dobrev decided to take advantage of a two day break in the filming of their new vampire epic The Attack of The Cucumber Vampires From Hell. The film which is being directed by the famed Monteverdi B...
Read full storyHarry Redknapp Offers Ryan Giggs An Olive Branch
Ryan Giggs, Manchester United's publicity shy, midfield-maestro and all round legend, has been offered a lifeline out of Old Trafford, by none other than Spurs boss, Harry Redknapp. It is believed that Redknapp feels that now is the time for Giggs...
Read full storyPrincess Beatrice Has A Crush On Robert Pattinson - Wants To Co-Star With Him In A Twilight Movie
Hot news from the UK this morning is that Princess Beatrice, the daughter of Sarah Ferguson and Prince Andrew, has a red hot crush on Hollywood heart throb, Robert Pattinson. And that she'd like nothing better than to star opposite him in a Twilig...
Read full storyLiverpool In Sensational Double Transfer Swoop - Berbatov And Modric Priority Targets
King Kenny Dalglish is all set to rock the football world to its foundations with a shock double transfer swoop, with the focus on Tottenham, and bitter rivals Manchester United. King Kenny has apparently authorised club officials to enter into ne...
Read full storyPrincess Eugenie Prefers Taylor Lautner Over Robert Pattinson
It seems that the younger British Royals can't get enough of Hollywood's finest! Following the revelation that Princess Beatrice (the one in the funny hat) longs to star opposite Robert Pattinson in a Twilight movie, we can now reveal that Princess E...
Read full storySuperman Announces He's Reinventing Himself; Lady Gaga Will Assist
Still wearing the same tried and true, red-and-blue outfit with a splash of yellow, the Man of Steel held a press conference in New York's Grand Central Station yesterday and announced his plans for the future. Reminding everyone that he made his...
Read full storyWeather Service: "2011 Hurricane Season will be nothing like we predict"
The national Weather Service issued their prediction for this year's hurricane season, confidently asserting that in all likelihood it will be very different than what they expect. A spokesman for NOAA stated that "If history teaches us anythin...
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