Still They Keep Coming: More Letters To The Editor
Dear Sir, I thought your readers may be interested in some antedotal eveydense that obtrains of a famious pearson. You see, I did life nearbie the fourmar Primed Minster, Sir Edwin Heathe, when he was still livine with his morther, Shirley, at Sellsea. They had a moddest home then. That was befor Edwin, as we callt him, got to Parleymend. They just had the caler gaz and a potible Tellie.
Read full storySarah Palin to Ban The Year 2013
A leaked memo from an undisclosed source has confirmed that Sarah Palin will ban the year 2013 if she is elected next year as the President of the United states. The memo comes just days after the Union of Triskaidekaphobes confirmed that people...
Read full storyBritain's New Universities Show the Way
A press release, made on behalf of Britain's more recent Universities, announced that while the actual degrees from these establishments will not be of any use until the day we run out of Andrex, they are leading the field in providing plausible, if...
Read full storyHome Office Sued Over Wrong Citizenship Tests
Five thousand disgruntled potential British citizens are threatening to sue the Home Office after a pizza delivery boy mixed up the citizenship tests with several thousand GSCE exam papers. It seems that the people were given GSCE papers, rather t...
Read full storyThurso to Mybster, The Journey Continues.
The Story So Far............. Never Wanting To Get Involved at This Early Stage, Seaton Carew dragged his sorry arse from his bed and was nearly physically sick when he saw the time. The Bed & Breakfast in which he was staying, in Scrabster on the outskirts of Thusro, was a bit of of a flea pit. Worse than that, it was a shit pit and he was glad to be leaving. Climbing wearily onto hi...
Read full storySarah Palin's Prosperity Plan: Raise the Retirement Age to 90, Lower the Drinking Age to 12
Wasilla, Alaska - Tired of being branded as a political lightweight, Republican presidential contender Sarah Palin today revealed some heavy ideas for dealing with America's ongoing economic crisis. "The way I see it," Palin said, "America is bein...
Read full storyGary Glitter upsets English Christians
Controversial Glam Rock pop singer Gary Glitter outraged many English Christians today by declaring that he was in love with euthanasia and wished that it was legal in Finland. Soon after making that statement a large crowd of English Christian a...
Read full storyRyan Cleary Released on Police Bail
Computer hacker Ryan Cleary has been released from jail on police bail. Friends say they are delighted but government officials are today beginning to ask some very awkward questions because Ryan appears to have been given his freedom by accident.
Read full storyGovernment Minister Has Been Lizard For 5 Years
Michael Davies the MP for Hull has revealed himself to be a lizard who has come from the future to stop the moment when an insane, heroin-fuelled, Richard Branson produces 50,000 angry robots to overthrow the earth. His secret was revealed when he...
Read full storyGhostly image appears in Queen's diamond jubilee portrait
London - The spectral face of 'God's Banker' Roberto Calvi has appeared in a photo portrait of the Queen and Duke of Edinburgh. The picture, commissioned by the National Portrait Gallery, shows the royals seated on one of Windsor Castle's hideousl...
Read full storyLindsay Lohan Under "Home Confinement" Tests Positive For Alcohol - Well Duhhh!
VENICE BEACH - Lindsay Lohan who without a doubt has to be the luckiest girl in California, no make that America, no heck make that in the entire world has shown her true colors and mocked the California legal system once again. The quasi-actress...
Read full storyGeert Wilders cleared of hate and he didn't even deny the Holocaust!
Dutch far right-wing politician, Geert Wilders, has been cleared of all hate charges thrown at him by the Dutch legal system even if they were quite hateful, well, for Muslims at least. Many of his followers danced for joy as the announcement was...
Read full storyNew Chelsea Boss Andre Villas-Boas Doomed To PL Failure
A group of leading sports psychologists are claiming that newly installed Chelsea boss, Andre Villas-Boas is doomed to Premier League failure, and that's before he even starts! Villas-Boas, who moved to Stamford Bridge from Porto this week has alr...
Read full storyJohn Galliano Mecca Synagogue Opening Story A Hoax
A story widely published on the internet today, claiming that award winning fashion designer, John Galliano has been invited as a special guest to perform the opening ceremony at a newly built synagogue in Mecca, Saudi Arabia, has been exposed as a h...
Read full story8th Harry Potter Book Inevitable - Buffty Ginslinger
In the wake of JK Rowling's Pottermore announcement, Skoob Entertainment News supremo, Buffty Ginslinger has categorically stated that an 8th Harry Potter book is inevitable. Speaking from a wine bar close to London's famous Leicester Square, wher...
Read full storyScare in the Community: hackers threaten to out Cabinet members' files
London - The Decryptz hacking group has vowed to reveal the names of 'vulnerable' members of the Cabinet who have managed to evade screwtiny of their shadowy past lives. A message on the Hackattack! blogsite today said 'a dozen' of David Cameron's...
Read full storyChinese Authorities Confirm That Unidentified 65 Foot Sea Monster Stinks - But They'll Eat It Anyway
Authorities in Guangdong, China, today admitted that they have been unable to identify the 65 foot sea monster that washed up on a beach there a couple of days ago, but they have confirmed that it stinks to high heaven. The creature, which vaguely...
Read full storyGreen is the most relaxing colour
After extensive research by the Portsmouth Institute for Social Sciences it has been determined that colour bias - the preference for one colour over another - is universal. "We have used several hundred paint colour charts from a variety of manuf...
Read full storyGeri Halliwell Pictures Spark Bikini Debate
Women across the country have revealed they do no feel "bikini ready" after pictures in the press showed former Spice Girl Geri Halliwell displaying her 'perfect 10' body in a green two-piece. The average woman is a size 14 and weighs 10st 5lb, bu...
Read full storyAndre Villas-Boas has secret sex dossier on Chelsea footballers.
A secret dossier revealing intimate sexual details about Chelsea footballers has been found on a park bench in West London. The 69 page document, containing measurements and diagrams, was compiled over several years by new Chelsea Manager Andre Vi...
Read full storyWhitey Bulger Captured! FBI Demands He Be Sent to GITMO & Muzzled While Obama Takes Credit!
After 16 years on the lam, Whitey Bulger was nailed in California by an unarmed KMart security guard when the fugitive killer came in to buy some Martha Stewart dinner settings and a George Foreman grill! Unfortunately for the guard, Obama is now ta...
Read full storyJapanese Develop Human Sperm in Mice
Just in case the world runs of out human beings, scientists at the Tokyo Institute for Genetic Research, have come up with a novel solution. Mice, those rodents we love to see on Tom and Jerry and in the two Houses of Congress, have been modified...
Read full storyDonald Trump buys Parthenon in Deal of the Century
Donald Trump, windblown American entrepreneur, announced yesterday that he is in negotiations to buy the Parthenon from the economcally-challenged government of Greece. According to reliable sources who choose to remain anonymous because it could...
Read full storyGordon Ramsay Movie A Proper Turkey
Potty-mouthed TV chef Gordon Ramsay is furious that new film Love's Kitchen, in which he has a cameo role, has gone straight to DVD in the USA. The movie features Scot actor Dougray Scott as a chef who loses his touch after his wife is killed in a...
Read full storyElgar Country With The Ladies: Music, Schoolgirls... And A Gorilla.
Foreign travel was off the agenda when Peregrine Trip decided to treat his mother to a two-day excursion. So Elgar country it was… "A gorilla picking his nose?" "A gorilla picking his nose," Mrs confirmed. "That's what they were singing about... 'something, something, something... gorilla picking his nose.' Bloody revolting!" It was a choral enterprise and therefore, I suppose, it had som...
Read full storyGOP Maven Ann Coulter Says That It Is Time That Arizona Governor Jan Brewer Admits Responsibility For The Damn Wildfires
FLAGSTAFF, Arizona - GOP mouthpiece Ann Coulter flew into Flagstaff, Arizona to visit an old high school girlfriend and she was shocked at the amount of fires burning throughout the state. Coulter, who is not one to hold her tongue, told a reporte...
Read full storyReality Shocker: Kate Gosselin Wants It To Go Back To 'Jon and Kate Plus 8'
READING, Pennsylvania - Kate Gosselin has appeared on Dancing With The Stars where she pretty much showed America that she ain't no dancer. Then she traveled up to Alaska with the eight kiddoes and visited the Palins and went wilderness camping an...
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