Geri Halliwell Pictures Spark Bikini Debate

Funny story written by Ellis Ian Fields

Thursday, 23 June 2011

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Are you ready, girls?

Women across the country have revealed they do no feel "bikini ready" after pictures in the press showed former Spice Girl Geri Halliwell displaying her 'perfect 10' body in a green two-piece.

The average woman is a size 14 and weighs 10st 5lb, but most admit they want to achieve a figure like Geri's.

In a poll of 173,000 UK women for Cho Yung Tea, almost two-thirds said they wanted to shed weight before relaxing in a bikini while a little more than half said they were determined to lose 1st 5lb.

EIF News & Features commissioned PollsRUs to ask local women about their bikini plans.

Mrs Nuala Spools, at number 33, said: "Ooh no dear... not with my brood. I don't have time to think about summer swimming cozzies and all that.

"I'd love to go into Selfridges or somewhere and look at all the lovely bikinis... but I'm afraid it'll be a week at Center Parcs for us.

"I honestly can't remember the last time I splashed around in nice cozzie. Sigh."

Molly Q, who has the upstairs flat across the road, said: "F*** off - you prying male chauvinist pervert! Typical man - you just want to see my tits don't you?

"Weight fascist! I don't wear swimming costumes to satisfy the leering male gaze.

"Yes... I can babysit at 8. That'll be fine."

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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