USA Unfurls New Flag

Written by churchmouse

Monday, 8 August 2011

image for USA Unfurls New Flag
Old flag showing the complicated stars and stripes design

The new National Flag of the United States was unveiled to a packed audience of international journalists during a press conference at the White House in Washington today.

The new flag is the result of a 24 million dollar, five year study by an all-party Congressional Committee, that had been formed to simplify the current Stars n' Stripes design which had been judged to be too complicated, after a study found that the large number of stripes, together with the even larger number of stars incorporated in the flag had been confusing many elements of society.

Not only were elementary-grade students finding it difficult to accurately reproduce the flag during drawing lessons, but the large number of different elements within the design meant that the nation's flags were more expensive to produce than those of other nation states. Also the small 'Stars n' Stripes' lapel badges that are compulsory for all American politicians, are practically impossible to produce. (It is widely thought that the President's lapel badge has only sixteen stars on it due to the lack of space to include the full compliment).

The new simplified design is a red rectangle, - the color having been retained as a link to the red stripes of its predecessor.

For the same reason, four stars have been incorporated into the top left-hand corner.

"This new national flag, that we have produced within the time-scale of the five-year plan is a great achievement for our people. And we hope that this will be the start of a cultural revolution in flag design". said Committee Chairman; Xin Chan Quin.

In other news: Rumours that the USA is now mainly owned by the Chinese, was dismissed by financial experts on Wall Street yesterday.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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