Michelle Obama Reveals Some Very Personal Details About President Obama's 50th Birthday Party

Written by Abel Rodriguez

Monday, 8 August 2011

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President Obama's 50th Birthday Party was held in the backyard of the White House.

WASHINGTON, D.C. - The nation's "First Mama" Michelle Obama spoke with a reporter with The Right Coast Illustrated Revue about her husband's recent 50th birthday party celebration which took place in the backyard of the White House.

Miss Michelle, as Oprah Winfrey calls her, visited with Tilapia Frisbee in The Marilyn Monroe Guest Bedroom and remarked at how fabulous the birthday bash went.

She said that everyone especially loved the Sarah Palin piñata which guests such as George Clooney, Tom Hanks, Manu Ginobili, Ashton Kutcher, and Demi Moore all could not break.

Finally Vice-President Joe Biden put down the bottle of Southern Comfort and took the piñata stick from Will Ferrell who also failed to break the piñata.

Biden was blindfolded and he was spun around by Air Force One Pilot General Norwood W. LaBriola Jr., and as he was turned loose he let go with a swing that St. Louis Cardinals baseball slugger Albert Pujols would have been proud of and he hit the Sarah Palin piñata smack dab on her red-lipsticked kisser.

Biden shattered the piñata and candy went everywhere and cheers of "Joe in '12!" Joe in '12!" "Joe in '12!" echoed throughout the White House backyard. Heidi Klum playfully went up to Biden, put down her glass of Tequila Sunrise, and gave him a great big kiss right on his kisser.

Tom Hanks and Ashton Kutcher both hollered out that they came real damn close to hitting the piñata as well and wondered if...

Just then the "First Mama" stepped in and told both Hanks and Kutcher to remember that they were at her White House and not at Hugh Hefner's friggin Playboy Mansion and that they would show some respect or else she would have the secret service agents escort them both out to their cars and off the White House property.

Hanks quickly apologized and Kutcher said that what would a little kiss have hurt. Just as he finished saying the word hurt, he was slapped in the back of the head by his wife Demi Moore who yelled out for him to stop acting like he was George "Effen" Clooney.

She then turned to Wayne Wilderson, the man who stars as the grapes in the Fruit of the Loom commercials, she grabbed him around the neck and she planted a great big wet kiss on his purple mouth (he was dressed in his grapes outfit).

Ashton whispered "Okay! Okay! hon you win, you freakin, frackin, fruckin, flickin win a-gain, O-KAYYYYY!!!"

The "First Mama" went over to Ashton and told him that he would refrain from using that type of freakin language in front of her mama and the other guests and that if anyone was going to be doing any cussing it would effen be her.

Ashton apologized and said that he would write out a check for $50,000 to President Obama's Re-Election Campaign Fund. Michelle hugged him, gave him a big kiss on his kisser, and said that she hopes that his show Two and A Half Men kicks ass big time!

Tilapia Frisbee stated that the party's musical entertainers Taylor Swift and Kanye West did not have a problem since secret service agents were instructed by President Obama to make sure that West did not get within 200 feet of Miss Swift.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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