Tony Romo Finally Finds a Blonde He Likes
Dallas - Tony Romo finally found a blonde he could spend the rest of his life with. Sure, his football career isn't looking so hot right now, but his personal life seems to be alright. Tony Romo proposed to Candice Crawford at a local Red Robin i...
Read full storyDemi Lovato's Rep: No Sex Tape
Hollywood--Demi Lovato's rep is denying their is a sex tape of Demi, and is trying to get the story pulled from major media outlets. "What emotionally unstable woman would have meaningless sex, and tape it too. Demi is going through a hard time r...
Read full storyAngelia Jolie to Spend Christmas at a Random and Quiet Place
Hollywood - Angelia Jolie is sick of the paparazzi chasing her where ever she goes. She is so sick of the attention that she is going to go to a place where no one will be - a movie theater showing The Tourist. "It is so hard for an actress like...
Read full storySubo fanatics doing their Christmas Shopping-held up by snow storms-heading for Susan Boyle's home in Scotland
Susan Boyle fanatics are out and about doing their Christmas shopping in countries around the world. A number of American Subo fanatics are complaining about the snowfall in England, where they have flown on a private jet from the States. They said they have not seen so much snow - apart from the 'lines' on glass tops at some of the parties they have attended. One of the Subo fanatics said...
Read full storyMatt Cardle - At Last A True X-Factor Working Class Hero Warrior
Six months ago, nobody had heard of Matt Cardle, but now, the humble working class Essex painter and decorator is the toast of the town, and a shoe in for the coveted Christmas number one single slot, following his dramatic X-Factor triumph in the fa...
Read full storyNude Naked Nude Celebrity Tits Arses And Vaginas The Key To Satirical Success.
The Union Of Satirists And Piss Takers has exclusively revealed to Skoob Entertainment News that the key to success in satirical scribbling lies in submitting stories to satirical websites containing certain keywords, such as nude, naked, nude, tits, arse, vagina, penis, nude, nude, nude and nude. (Difficult to read that line aloud if you have a lisp or you whistle slightly when you enunciate t...
Read full storyFrankie Boyle In Hot Water Again (No Pun Intended)
It appears that controversial Jockinese joker and, in the words of novelist Stephen King: "officious little prick" Frankie Boyle has once again landed himself in hot water (Boyling water - no pun intended) by contriving to be controversial. Again.
Read full storyApproved by top child psycho-logist: Shiloh Jolie-Pitt and Suri Cruise to face-off in new Survivor-Kid series
It's official. The new Survivor-Kid series takes off in 2011 with a well-buffed Shiloh Jolie-Pitt and her muy macho tomboy tribe taking on a girly-girl Suri Cruise and her princess tribe. "It's great. We're gonna break the ratings ceiling", said...
Read full storyIpswich Town v Leicester City - Proper Football. As It Should Be
Saturday, Portman Road, Ipswich - Ipswich Town 3 Leicester City 0 Match played in blizzard conditions - players taken off the field to allow for snow clearance for 17 minutes. Match resumed and completed. Played on snow with an orange ball, jus...
Read full storyFuture News: Americans to Health Holiday for Stem Cell Treatment
Published 2014 - WASHINGTON, D.C. & LONDON - Stem cell treatment, first attempted in 2010, and fully tested in 2012, is now a live-saving procedure. Except for Americans. The US government has banned stem-cell treatment and research in any...
Read full storyUK Media Moguls Move Base to Birmingham
BIRMINGHAM & LONDON - In a surprising move today, the BBC and Rupert Murdoch's News Corp. will move their base of operation to the city of Birmingham. Many other media outlets, such as ITV and EMI Music will also move. "We're sick of London...
Read full storyTuitions Fees Bill Mysteriously 'Lost'
LONDON - The tuition fees bill was lost in the Parliament building today. The bill, which will impoverish thousands of budding young smart people, had disappeared. "Uhhh..." said an MP. "Yes. It is such a shame it was lost. Oh dear. What ever s...
Read full storyPaul Konchesky's Mum Endears Her Son To The 'Scouse Scum'
Liverpool defender Paul Konchesky's mum has sparked fury amongst London based Irish not quite scouse Liverpool fans by referring to them as "scouse scum" and saying that the "cockney ****" would have been better off staying at Fulham. Konchesky ha...
Read full storyNew York Bermuda Triangle
In recent years more than 40 automobiles, drivers, and passengers have disappeared for days while navigating on roads and highways in up-state New York. Little news of these occurrences ever reaches the media who is blinded by purported intellectua...
Read full storyImage Of Simon Cowell Spotted In Cheryl Cole's Armpit
As Cheryl Cole went out to dinner at MoFo on Park Lane, Friday, along with Kimberley Walsh, Nicola Roberts, and her mother - the one who really liked Ashley Cole, the paparazzi pounced. Despite the cold, hard as nails Geordie lass, wor Chezza, str...
Read full storyStrictly Come Dancing Breasts & Nut Clusters Awards 2010
As much as their quick-stepping artistry, the physical attributes of the Strictly contestants were under close scrutiny as they danced for the 2010 title last night. For months viewers have been transfixed by the delightful décolletés of the girls...
Read full storyPalace Backs Charles as Next King
Buckingham Palace has declared its support for the Prince of Wales as the next king. The revelation came after the Palace's exceptionally festive staff Christmas lunch and follows another mischievous he's-a-bit-potty story in the Daily Mail. Whi...
Read full storyDeputy Speaker Nigel Evans Admits He's A Snake Charmer
Nigel Evans, deputy speaker of the House of Commons and Conservative MP for Ribble Valley has announced in an interview that he is gay - or what some refer to as a 'snake charmer' The plucky Tory has decided to play out, as they describe it in gay...
Read full storyQueen Counting on Travel Chaos to Deliver a Merry Christmas
A lone, regal silhouette stares from an upstairs window at snow-swept Sandringham, the Norfolk estate where the Royal Family gathers annually for the Christmas holidays. HM the Queen keeps the vigil, dividing her gaze between her Blackberry and a...
Read full storyFox Kills Rabbit
BBC Director General, Mark Thompson - known to his chums as Rabbit - has been caught in the headlights shone by a murderous Fox. The Trembling Rabbit, his nose quivering with fear, agreed the Fox should have a TV Channel to take on the BBC. Having...
Read full storyThe Week in Briefs
Entertainment World this Week by famed columnist Helon Kokaine at the "Hollywood Rehab Times" Demi Lovato: Disney breathed a sigh of relief this weekend when sources close to Demi Lovato said her racy photos are not lesbian but pictures of her transsexual friends. Hollywood got all excited this week by the news that John Travolta will finally star in the long-awaited sequel to Grease. The fi...
Read full storyBoehner Recalls Humble Origins in Onion Factory
WASHINGTON - Presumptive Speaker-of-the-House John Boehner (R-Ohio) recalls his difficult upbringing. "I was one of twelve children, and we were poor. I quit school to work in the onion processing plant. We peeled and diced onions all day. Very t...
Read full storyObama's 20th Job Summit Used to Network
Washington - President Obama used his 20th job summit as a chance to network with some important CEOs. "It doesn't look like I will have a job after the election of 2012, so I used my position as president to invites some very important CEOs to th...
Read full storyYodelling offends Muslims
An Austrian court has recently fined a citizen for yodelling while mowing his lawn according to a report in The Kronen Zeitung newspaper. The citizen, 63 year old Helmut Krabbes was told by the court that his yodelling offended his next-door Musli...
Read full story"My Dog ate Someone Else's Bomb" Says Student Rioter
A student rioter, named "Dan the Revolutionary", has claimed that a bomb found inside his dog does not belong to him. He said "just because the bomb was found inside my dog doesn't mean the bomb is mine. I'm a peaceful protester and I don't agree w...
Read full storyLloyds Lose 9 million Dollars
Lloyds Bank have lost the 9 million dollars invested in their special 0.000001% security bonds by the great Sudanese President Omar Bashear - who lost part of his ear supposedly in a bid to outdo Van Goth, but in reality because he lost in a Boxing c...
Read full storyEngland Cricketers Ready to Win
England cricketers appealed successfully against the heat in Perth, Australia as temperatures rose to nearly 50 degrees and players began falling over in a stupor. Sportingly the Aussies, following the suggestion of England fast bowler Anderson, a...
Read full storySarah Palin and John Boehner Accuse Trio (Santa Claus/Julian Assange/Barack Obama) of Planning a Sex Attack on Parliament on Christmas Eve Day; WikiLeaks, X Factor, Football to be Unaffected
Superfriends Sarah Palin and John Boehner believe they have figured out the "what", the "who", and the "when" -- but the "where" and the "how" remain sketchy. Palin: "I have a source of good intelligence who tells me that those three (Santa Claus,...
Read full storyTube Worker gets caught out, Crow furious!
It is today learnt that a Tube Worker, a Mr. Chia Li Peng, originally from Malaysia, was summarily dismissed after his supervisor caught him masturbating behind the ticket window. Peng was assigned to Booking Office duties yesterday, 19th December...
Read full storyUK's Youngest Parents Are 14 Year Old School Kids
In a shock revelation, it has been revealed that two 14 year old schoolchildren have become the UK's youngest parents. The two children had unprotected sex when aged 13 years old. The new parents, Anne-Maree Spreadham and Kevin Numbnuts, are both...
Read full storyRoyal Mail Stamp Price Hike Welcomed By Patriot
Royal Mail's announced record first-class post price rise has been welcomed in patriotic circles. The price of a first-class stamp will rise by 5p to 46p in April, following approval by the regulator Postcomm. The price rise should provide the Roy...
Read full storyCheryl Cole Angrily Responds To The Rumors About Derek Hough and Ines Sainz - "They're A Bunch of Bloody, Blimey, Bloomin' Lies They Is"
BEVERLY HILLS - Cheryl Cole, the girlfriend of Derek Hough, was shopping with Derek's sister, Ryan Seacrest's girlfriend Julianne Hough, at the swank clothing store on Rodeo Drive, Now That's A Rack. A reporter for Left Coast Mirror Magazine aske...
Read full storyJustin Bieber Reveals The Amazing Reason He Is Extremely Scared of Skateboards
GREEN BAY, Wisconsin - Canadian singing sensation Justin Bieber was in Green Bay attending the 91st Annual Snow Plow Parade and Ice Fishing Championships. Bieber, who was the parade's grand marshall, stated that he was thrilled to have been asked...
Read full storyPresident Obama Stars In 'It's A Wonderful Life'.
President Obama gazed down from the icy bridge into the swirling frigid waters of the Potomac below him. In the darkness of the night the distance between him and its whirlpools seemed vast. He was at an end. The difficulties of his Presidency seemed as dark, endless and foreboding as the waters he looked down upon. The constant assault and harassment by foes, the never ending undermining by th...
Read full storyDonovan Wins First Annual "Albert Haynesworth Memorial 'You're Not Welcome Here' Award", Is Demoted To 3rd String Quarterback For Redskins' Last Two Games
Bigoted Washington Redskins Coach Mike Shanahan has demoted $40millon man Donovan McNabb to Lead Offensive Benchwarmer, and says Rex Grossman is his starting caucasian for the rest of the season, beginning with Sunday's game at Dallas. "McNabb wil...
Read full storyWorld Cup - Qatar - 2022 - Bit Of A F*ck Up Eh Sepp?
Great news just in from FIFA - following the incomprehensible decision by FIFA to stage the 2022 World Cup Finals in a country which frequently experiences 50 degree heat in summer, FIFA mastermind (and distinctly not corrupt in any way) Sepp Blatter...
Read full storyVanessa Hudgens Vegas Rampage Continues
Vanessa Hudgens is continuing her Las Vegas birthday/I'm single again celebration. She's been on a, "bad girl", rampage for the last few days and many photos of her pole dancing at various Las Vegas strip joints have been surfacing on the net. The...
Read full storyHoward Stern/David Arquette Plot to Reveal Mainstream Reporters as Mindless Sheep Headed for a Ugly Slaughter.
There are people in the world that set the new trends. They make the breakthrough's that give humankind the appearance of being a species worthy of continuing along the evolutionary path. There are people that dance enthusiastically to the beat of a...
Read full storyKristen Stewart Has Issues With Just Who Bella Is
Twilight's hot vampyre chick Kristen Stewart and her hunky hero Robert Pattinson have been filming some super steamy and satanically sexy honeymoon scenarios for the upcoming Breaking Dawn movie. But while such scenes were a cinch for the towering...
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