Sarah Palin and John Boehner Accuse Trio (Santa Claus/Julian Assange/Barack Obama) of Planning a Sex Attack on Parliament on Christmas Eve Day; WikiLeaks, X Factor, Football to be Unaffected

Written by SpaceElevator

Saturday, 18 December 2010

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Release the Kraken!

Superfriends Sarah Palin and John Boehner believe they have figured out the "what", the "who", and the "when" -- but the "where" and the "how" remain sketchy.

Palin: "I have a source of good intelligence who tells me that those three (Santa Claus, Julian Assange, and Barack Obama) are planning a sex attack on the U.S. Parliament on Christmas Eve Day."

When pressed to describe what exactly a 'sex attack' is and where the U.S. Parliament is located, Ms. Palin deferred to her marmaladey sidekick.

"I've never even had sex, on account of my orange tallywhacker," said 61-year-old Boehner. "But when I become Speaker of the House, watch out... because there is going to be a new sheriff in town and his name is John Boehner. Again, for the record, it's pronounced Bay-nur not Bo-ner. No more funny business!"

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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