Boehner Recalls Humble Origins in Onion Factory

Funny story written by Q. William Bacon

Saturday, 18 December 2010

image for Boehner Recalls Humble Origins in Onion Factory
As a youth, Boehner worked in onion processing

WASHINGTON - Presumptive Speaker-of-the-House John Boehner (R-Ohio) recalls his difficult upbringing. "I was one of twelve children, and we were poor. I quit school to work in the onion processing plant. We peeled and diced onions all day. Very tough work, tough on the eyes. To even speak of it now makes my eyes water. But I kept at it, twelve hours a day, because I wanted to achieve the American dream."

"As a legislator, I have always voted against workplace health and safety measures, as I deem them unnecessary. I spent many years in that onion plant, and it hasn't left me with any negative physical effects.

"The plant also processed carrots, which is also very tough work, tough on the skin coloration."

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

Comedy spoof news topics
Go to top
readers are online right now!
Globey, The Spoof's mascot

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more