Written by Ellis Ian Fields

Saturday, 18 December 2010

image for Royal Mail Stamp Price Hike Welcomed By Patriot

Royal Mail's announced record first-class post price rise has been welcomed in patriotic circles.

The price of a first-class stamp will rise by 5p to 46p in April, following approval by the regulator Postcomm. The price rise should provide the Royal Mail with £380m in additional annual revenues.

There have been larger percentage increases, notably in the high-inflation 1970s, but a 5p rise on a standard first-class stamp would be unprecedented in cash terms.

Reginald Blitt-Hedd, an outspoken member of the organisation, Britain is Best, told us: "This is a magnificent effort and worthy of the great traditions of this grand old institution.

"We had the first postal service and the best. Now we have a record price increase. Absolutely super.

"Not only was ours the first service, it is also the best at losing mail, delivering late and flouting the customer's needs. No second delivery for the Royal Mail! Only first!

"I am, frankly, puzzled that they persevere with a second-class post, but I suppose one can't have everything."

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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