It's War !
As predicted last week, the X Factor has proved to be more insidious than Hitler, and has sparked a new European War. Jones the Steam the secretive leader of the Welsh National Liberation Army "The Viet Taff" has announced that with the demise of...
Read full storySomewhat Popular Spoofer Jumps on the Christmas Carol Re-write Bandwagon
In a pathetic attempt to become more popular and 'fit in', sometime Spoof writer and occasional giver of terrible advice, Madame Bitters has decided to try her hand at a Christmas Carol re-write. Here is the fruit of her efforts: Uncle Claude is Comin' to Town (sung to the tune of Santa Claus is Coming to Town) You'd better lock up the kiddoes to-day A man in a van is headed your way...
Read full storyX-Factor's Simon Cowell Finally Admits He Likes Jedward
LONDON - Simon Cowell, one of Great Britain's richest gents, has finally admitted that he actually likes X-Factor contestants Jedward, aka the Grimes Twins, John and Edward. The Irish twins performed the theme from the Ghostbusters motion picture...
Read full storyLondoners are lying bastards
The good ol London Public have been declared to be 'lying bastards' by the Metropolitan Police Directorate of Professional Standards. Of 5241 complaints against London's darlings the Metropolitan Police Territorial support Group, only 9 people wer...
Read full story'No fixes in boxing' shock claim made by Don King, as Serena Williams defeats Nikolai Valuless to take WBA title
American Boxing impressario Don King today made the shock claim that boxing title fights are never fixed. 'Well, they just ain't', he said, as he watched a recording of seven foot Russian giant Nikolai Valuless being easily defeated by Serena Will...
Read full storyMaddie cellphone starts bleeping from China
London - (Praia Da Illuzion): Officially, Portuguese detectives never found the pay-as-you-go mobile which Maddie may have accidentally smuggled on holiday inside her cuddle cat. This weekend it suddenly popped up in Beijing after Interpol teleco...
Read full storyNation Unites To Condemn Blair and Bush
Millions of British people today have condemned the war criminals Anthony Blair MP and President George W. Bush, for attempting to invade the sovereign independent nations of Iraq and Afghanistan, leading to thousands of dead civilians and British an...
Read full storyScheme 'can cut extra emissions' - with explosives
LONDON- According to my secret source code named slash-8, a new business plan of the Environment Agency will slash carbon emissions by 60 percent, or 13 tonnes. It will leave five million cars on the road, and still reduce emissions! Slash-eigh...
Read full storyPhone Company Adds Booty Calls to List of Services
The telephone company said that Booty Calls will be added to the list of optional services provided to their customers. Booty calls will be charged in a similar fashion to call forwarding, call waiting, and 3 way calling (which can be used in conjun...
Read full storyHealth Care Bill Passes; Fifty-six Republicans to Bethesda Naval Hospital For Treatment
There was bedlam last night in the US House of Representatives when the history making health care bill was passed. As Democrats,for the most part,cheered and high fived,the Republicans with red faces... jeered, grumbled, yelled, a few cried and seve...
Read full storyPsychoTown - Part 1
FOREWARD: This is the first news story or article Jesus Budda has written in almost a year. If the fat man can be bothered he will try and update this story every week until it's thrilling conclusion. Dedicated to all the brave police officers out there who are corrupt, incompetent and enjoy masturbation. The district patrol cop stands over the butchered corpse, stroking his chin. "Hey!...
Read full storyMemes, Themes and Conditions - 10 Newest
Appdict - Addicted to using iPhone apps in inappropriate situations. Badge Doubt - The feeling that any badge or security ID shown to you is fake. Fib Blab - Private nickname conservative talk-radio hosts give to their own programs. Flu Reject - Person who does not qualify for any of the official categories of people who are advised to get an H1N1 flu vaccination. Newslech - Male w...
Read full storySomali pirates in Nick Griffin kidnap drama. 'Help us' say Somalis
It is believed that Somali pirates have kidnapped BNP leader Nick Griffin, and are holding him hostage on a narrowboat on the Leeds and Liverpool canal in Lancashire. Police negotiators have been talking to a group of armed gunmen who are sailing...
Read full storyCouncil bans Remembrance Day parade 'for a laugh'
In another example of 'Health and Safety gone mad', a town council has banned this morning's Remembrance Day parade on the grounds of 'pins given out with poppies can cause eye-injuries to children - or something.' The town council of Felcham, K...
Read full storyMetropolitan Police environ-mental
It has been announced that protestors are not the only thing the Metropolitan Police are seeking to destroy. Today the UK Metropolitan Police have admitted running the most environmentally unfriendly fleet of vehicles on the planet. With governmen...
Read full storyMickey Mouse Undergoes a Makeover
According to the loveable icon, Mr. Mickey Mouse, "Eighty-one years of being an angelic weakling is more than enough. I've had it. It's time to break out of my shell and move on." Gail Farrelly has gotten the scoop, straight from the Mouse's mouth...
Read full storyBritney Spears Lip Syncs - Hundreds of Angry Fans Walk Out!
PERTH, Australia - Britney Spears Naked At The Circus Concert Tour has hit some pretty rough waters. The house lights came down, the stage lights went on, and the Louisiana lass came prancing out dressed up as a kangaroo complete with an obligator...
Read full storyMiss England, Rachel Christie Involved In Pub Brawl Loses Crown
MANCHESTER - The reigning Miss England, Rachel Christie, has voluntarily given up her title after she was involved in a brawl in a pub in Manchester. Clancy "Big Ben" O'Malley, owner of Ye Big Ben Pub said that Miss England walked in, sat down at...
Read full storyCheryl Cole (5'3") and Dannii Minogue (5'2") To Co-Host The Telethon To Benefit Short People
MANCHESTER, England - X-Factor Judges Cheryl Cole and Dannii Minogue will be co-hosting The 1st Annual Telethon To Benefit Short People. The idea first came to Cole one day when she opened up her kitchen cupboard to get a drinking glass. She said...
Read full storyDakota Fanning crying after leaving popular store
Dakota Fanning was spotted crying leaving the popular department store 'Fred Segal' on Monday, fans say. The 11-year-old actress was reportedly seen this week with tears streaming down her face by members of the general public and the Californian...
Read full storyWalsh in dementia explosion shocker
Louis Walsh, loveable pervert and all round Irish gem shocked the world of entertainment today when his dementia finally revealed itself in a Hiroshima-sized hissy fit. Walsh, 78, a former catholic priest and a current lover of young boy band Jedw...
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