Woman With Beehive Hairdo Arrested In Florida
Boca Raton Fl-- A Florida woman was arrested today for violating a new code banning beehive hairdos in Boca Raton. Diane Giblet, visiting from Philadelphia, was booked on misdemeanor charges and released. She was charged with possession of a beehive...
Read full storySarah Palin in moose gaffe
Vice presidential candidate Senator Sarah Palin found herself at the centre of a politicl storm today. Animal rights activists were horrified to hear that she used moose in her hair on a daily basis. "These animals have every right to exist and...
Read full storyDomestic fuel bills to bills to be cut in a startling new move
Gordon Brown revealed today a stunning plan to reduce domestic fuel consumption. "Following extensive negotiations with the major fuel companies, I have come up with a plan to re locate the United Kingdom to the equator." said the prime minister.
Read full storyPresidential candidate McCain reveals new vote winner
Senator John McCain received a huge pre election boost when it was revealed that his latest line of oven chips were the healthiest yet. "The fat content is at an all time low and even the packaging is bio-degradeble" said Senator McCain."I am also...
Read full storyTotal chaos at Heathrow Terminal 5
Heathrow terminal 5 was completely closed today when an entire plane load of passengers were able to correctly collect all of their luggage. A team of 15 baggage handlers were immediately suspended for a severe breach of usual working practices.
Read full storyMass dillusions cloud England football victory
In an event unsurpassed since the moon landings, the recent England victory over Croatia was exposed as an elaborate hoax. Scientists including renowned physicist Professor Hugh Jarse were involved in a form of mass hypnosis not seen since the six...
Read full storyTheo Walcott Shares Go Through The Roof!
Theo Walcott, Arsenal's three-goal England teenage matchwinner in Croatia on Wednesday night, has ignited the national team's charge towards World Cup qualification, and done his own personal value no harm either, as shares in him on the Stock Market...
Read full storyGoats on Death Row?
Kinshasa jail, The Democratic Republic of Congo has been the home for a dozen goats, which were said to be held there illegally. The 'Dirty Dozen' were on remand, and due to appear in court, charged with being sold illegally by the roadside. Deput...
Read full storyPalin To Snub GOP By Having 5 More Children Before Age 50...McCain Gets Solution In Nick Of Time!
It's unusual these days for an American mother to have nore than 2 children. The national average for the U.S. is 2.3 children per mom. Enter Sarah Palin, already with 5! "Ever since I can remember, I wanted 10 children. I mean it seemed so natura...
Read full storyBanning Autumn
Councillor Fezziwig Baron III from Tring has launched a scathing attack on Mother Nature. The controversial buffoon wishes to ban Autumn from his constituency, and has banned all hibernating animals from sleep, and has said that trees dropping the...
Read full storyJohn McCain proposed a tax increase to pay for future Palin abortions
In a surprise move to appeal to Sarah Palin's critics, Republican presidential nominee John McCain proposes a 2% tax increase for Governors of states bordering Canada. The revenues will be used to fly Sarah Palin, or any of her relatives, to Tijuana...
Read full storyPalin's Daughter "Shipshape and Bristol Fashion"
Wereallsilly Alaska - Sarah Palin's daughter Bristol has given new meaning to the term "Shipshape and Bristol Fashion" for the residents of Wereallsilly. In her namesake English town, high tides in Bristol harbour meant ships had to be well stowed to...
Read full storyBoundary-Pushing New Research: Males must legally walk 7 roads before becoming a man
New research from the Department of answering hypothetical song lyrics today has found that in order to be considered an adult males must walk down 7 13.6km tarmac roads no wider than 160ft and no shorter than 3ft between the hours of 8am and 3pm wit...
Read full storyMcCain Talks Tough on Hurricanes
Republican presidential candidate John McCain says he will "seek and destroy any hurricane that poses a threat to America." Democratic nominee Barack Obama was also questioned about his stance on hurricane issues during the recent "Weather Values For...
Read full storyCarter "Really Milking that Lousy President Thing"
John Mccain suggested recently that Jimmy Carter was really milking his disastrous White House time. In an interview on a network television program, Mccain said that Carter likes to mention his presidency "whenever he gets a chance." Mccain adde...
Read full storyThe Muppets Reprised...Miss Piggy is Back and She's a Democrat!
Hollywood,Ca./SF Times - Hold on to your Gonads, Kermit, the Voracious Miss Piggy is back, and she's as Horny as ever and ready to jump your bones and whup your ass! Miss Pigathius "Piggy" Lee, star of the 70's-80's TV show The Muppets, announced...
Read full storyHomeland Security: $100 Billion Lost in Off Shore Tax Schemes Rangleton to Investigate!
Washington,DC/Wall Street Journal - A one year investigation by Homeland Security and the subcommittee on Government Affairs confirmed that wealthy foreigners and US citizens have been dodging their taxes for years. (ed. note: Really?) A spokesman...
Read full storyBlind man eats pussy; tastes "fishy"
John sat down to last night to eat a sumptuous meal inspired by a TV cookery show. The chefs on the show had used poussin (a small chicken) as their main ingredient, but poor John, who is not only blind but also hard of hearing, misheard the ingre...
Read full storyGovt. Employees Extend Oil Bartering to Include Sex, Drugs & Rock & Roll!
Denver,Colorado/ AP- Employees of the Mineral Management Office under the auspices of the Department of the Interior, were found to be swapping spit, drugs and exotic vacations in exchange for lucrative oil contracts. In a report released today, t...
Read full storyObama Insults Fish
Philadelphia PA-- Presidential candidate Barack Obama launched an attack yesterday against spoof writer 'Fish'. Political pundits on both sides of the aisle are saying this morning it will cost Obama the election. Obama characterized Fish as being "o...
Read full storyBill Clinton & The Lipsticked Pig
Advice Bill Clinton Should Have Received Before Assuming The Presidency "You can put lipstick on a pig, But she's still a pig" Is a lesson Moms to their sons Should be teaching. Had Bill Clinton Heard this advice Before meeting Monica There would have been No impeaching. The End...
Read full storyScientific Studies Show that Abandoning Your First Wife If She is in a Wheel Chair Increases your Chances of Becoming a Republicant Presidential Candidate!
Statistics seem to prove that when a person walks out on his first wife because she is in a wheel chair, that POW is more likely to become a Republicant superstar. At first glance, one might think that because Republicant Papa Bush could pass the...
Read full storyObama Mentions Pig with Lipstick; Republicants Immediately Think of Sarah Palin!
Urbane Demo candie barack Obama tried to sound cuntry when we all know cuntry first belongs to McCain and his new cuntry girl, Sarah Palin. Obama faking his down home best tried to mock McCain-Palin and their deep-seated economic denial by saying tha...
Read full storyPalin Takes Vow of Silence Until Rove Can Tell Her What She Thinks!
Book Burning former Mayor of Dontbewasilla, Alaska, Shot Gun Sarah Palin has submitted to the headship of her husband, Todd the Canoe Rental Person and has taken a vow of silence. Promises not to speak have a long history in religious practice an...
Read full storyPalin Laid More and More "Pipe" on the Pipeline to Nowhere, Alaska!
Almost Beauty Queen Alaskan wolf killer Sarah Palin presented her pipeline as the centerpiece of her political success. Now we learn that the pipeline will almost never be completed. Additionally the pipeline is thought to have been paid for by P...
Read full storyBush Interior Dept Internalize Drugs and Others' Sex Organs!
The worst US administration ever just keeps adding to the disasters. Unsatisfied with a destroying Iraq, Afghanistan and New Orleans and leaving the country less secure than before 9-11, we now learn that the Bush Interior Dept has been up to their n...
Read full storyDark Lord Rove Tells McCain-Palin that They Oppose Protecting Children from Sex Predators!
Barack Obama voted for legislation that would fund education for children aimed at protecting them from sex predators. Little did he know that the dark lord Rove would twist this sensible advocacy for US children into a sex scandal. Rove, Bush's...
Read full storyLetterman Too Late top five Obama jokes 2
More top five Obama Jokes: #5 Obama bin Biden? That mate selection by Obama must have been a Freudian slip! #4 Who is better liar, Obama or Clinton? Is it a toss up: Obama lies when he smiles, Clinton lies when his lips move? #3 Should Obama change his first name to Saddam, to get more Muslim votes in Pennsylvania, Ohio, Michigan and Florida? #2 Hands on knowledge of pork by Sen...
Read full storyIran's Ahadinejad Accepts Obama's Plea To Speak on His Behalf at UN!
NY/NY The New York Times - Iran's President Mahmoud Ahadinejad, has accepted a speaking engagement at the UN on September 23 in order to pledge his support for Barack Obama, Iran's choice for the next President of the US. Ahadinejad, a student a...
Read full story'Cialis for Everyday' Really Targets The 'At-Work Quickie'
Pharmacology Digest-October, 2008 - You've all heard of Viagra, Levitra, and Cialis. Well, sales indicate that Viagra, which opened the market for ED, erectile dysfunction, and saved many marriages and stopped women from telling us, "Damn, you cannot...
Read full storyLocal Man Secretly Awaiting The Return Of Ugly Betty
(New York) While the fall means the return of football season for most New York men, Upper West Side resident Brian Dubrowski is happy for another reason; the return of his favorite TV Show Ugly Betty. "Don't tell anyone, but I can't wait for the...
Read full storyProof that Obama didn't call Palin 'a pig with lipstick'
Democrat Barack Obama has denied that vice presidential nominee Sarah Palin was his target when he said: "You can put lipstick on a pig… it's still a pig." Senator Obama claims he was talking about his childhood days when to take their minds off r...
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