Kevin Jonas celebrates birthday with obbessed fan
Kevin Jonas is reportedly so upset with his brothers Joe and Nick that he refused to celebrate his birthday with any of his family. Instead he spent his birthday with his only obsessed fan, his grandma. Reports say that even girlfriend Danielle w...
Read full storyMiley Cyrus is now dating Joe Jonas
Well only less than a day after Taylor Swift warned the world to stay away from Joe Jonas it appears that one girl hasn't got the message. Miley Cyrus yesterday used a fansite to send a video message confirming her long standing relationship with...
Read full storyCheney Refuses to Leave
THE BUNKER BENEATH THE WHITE HOUSE -- Vice President Dick Cheney today announced his intention to remain in control of the bunker beneath the White House. "I don't care what the American people decided, I'm not leaving. What do they think America i...
Read full storyLeicester Dust Museum shuts
Fans of dust in Leicester were today left bereft when the city's world famous dust museum shut for the last time. The museum, which is said to contain the most valuable dust in the world in its vast collection is shutting due to a down-turn in its...
Read full storyChannel 4 To Broadcast New Property Show 'Repossession, Repossession, Repossession'
As the Credit Crunch really begins to bite consumers hard, Channel 4 launches its newest and hardest-hitting property show yet next month entitled Repossession, Repossession, Repossession. The show's focus is self-explanatory: as a result of the c...
Read full storyObama to Reveal New Collectivist Farm Society
Washington (IPP) - President elect Obama has declared himself president and has had George W. Bush evicted from the White House. Obama has called for a 6:00 PM press conference to announce that America will be shifting to a collectivist style agra...
Read full storyWhinging Man Loves Complaining
A man in Tunbridge Wells has said how happy the recent story about Russell Brand and Jonathan Ross made him. 'Oh, that was a good week, that was' said Mr Steve Tingy. 'Not only did I get to complain, I also had to wait in a queue on the phone to d...
Read full storyBush to present Film 2008
News has reached us that the new host for Film 2008, during Jonathan Ross's suspension will be the former American President George W Bush. Speaking to us earlier Bush said: 'This offer has come just at the right time. Only yesterday I was asking...
Read full storyWhite House butler in a tizz over Obama's new puppy
Washington DC - (Ass Mess): The Head of White House Domestic Services has spoken of his concerns about the new puppy that President Elect Obama is bringing with him in January. Stephen W Rochon has already had his fill of George W Bush's trashy-as...
Read full storySarah Palin's Mom is (ex) New Zealand PM !
In a bombshell revelation today, it has been revealed that Palin's mom is in fact the nine year Ex Prime Minister of New Zealand, Ms. Helen Clark. The two women, who are remarkably similar in appearance and dress were until recently unaware of the...
Read full storyRobbie Savage Denies Terrorism Link
Robbie Savage, the Derby County veteran, has spoken out to defend himself after it was alleged that the Welshman is a terrorist. Savage has been under police surveillance since officers from the Derbyshire Police Force received a tip-off from a po...
Read full storyO'Bama's black-out
Of course you know him; you've seen him on television during the last couple of months and he's the talk of the town right now: you know, the president elect of the United States, senator Barack Obama, the first Afro-American president. Well, that's...
Read full storySarah Palin Pissed that Joe the Plumber voted Obama
Sultry Alaskan skank, Sarah Palin was distraught upon learning that the much trumpeted character 'Joe the Plumber' voted for her rival Barack Obama instead of her and her curmudgeonly old running mate John McCain. Plain had banked most if not all...
Read full storyMiley Cyrus to be Cryogenically Frozen
TV and singing personality Miley Cyrus is to be cryogenically frozen upon her death and preserved until medical science discovers a cure for the common 'death', it's been revealed. The teen is following in the tradition of Walt Disney, except unli...
Read full storySexually Active Man to be Deactivated
A 30-year-old male who enjoys sexual experiences is to become the first human to have the sexual receptors in his brain permanently deactivated in a controversial new study. Johnny Gulliver from Perth, Australia, has been in a constant state of un...
Read full storyJeremy Clarkeson Involved in Shock Shooting!
Top Gear presenter Jeremy Clarkeson (47) was shot at today by Director General of the BBC Mark Thomson. In dramatic scenes at the Top Gear offices this morning, Jezza was sat at his desk playing with his Matchbox dinky cars contemplating the compl...
Read full storyMiley Cyrus says she would have voted for Barack Obama - if she had a vote
Miley Cyrus told reporters that had she been of age and legally entitled to vote in this years Presidential elections, she would probably have voted for Barack Obama. "He has kind eyes and big ears. Reminds me of a dog I once ate" said Miley of Ob...
Read full storyDonald Trump's hair is arrested following FBI raid
In an unprecedented swoop by FBI and SWAT agents on Trump Towers in New York today, Donald Trump's hair was placed under house arrest on suspicion of extremely bad taste. Donalds Trump's hair has been under surveillance for the past five years for...
Read full storyNew Recession Tax -SRT - announced
The Chancellor has discovered a new stealth tax to lumber the Great British public with - a Special Recession Tax (or SRT). With the price of motor fuel reducing throughout the country - except, of course, at motorway service areas - the governm...
Read full storyBarack Obama Paints White House Black
Barack Obama, the 44th President of the United States of America, but the first black man, has already made the first momentous decision of his presidency, by ordering 16trillion liters of black paint to 'redecorate' the White House. The White Hou...
Read full storyObama: The wrong parts white. White parts long.
Special report by correspondent Harriet Haughty: With the election now over, heavily guarded secrets of Barrack Obama's physiology, sexual preferences and peccadilloes can now be revealed. In a published report,Professor Wendell Waddrippins, noted...
Read full storyObama wins Election; Announces Bold New "Legislative" Plan
(Chicago) Barack Obama has won the US Presidential election becoming the 44th President in US history and also becoming the first African American President. As the victory celebrations of the Democratic Party carried through the night Obama grabbed...
Read full story"Change is a coming" White House to be pimped out
Washington DC. The last vote was not cast last evening when decorators of the Obama camp descended on the White House. "Firstly, we is gonna get this icon of oppression, "The WHITE House" and update that to reflect the diversity we project, shoul...
Read full storyMcCain Blames Voters, Palin For Defeat
Republican Presidential candidate John McCain reacted angrily to suggestions that he, alone, was responsible for yesterday's election defeat, and laid the blame squarely at the feet of the US electorate, who, he said were "spineless", and Sarah Palin...
Read full storyTeen Queen, Brenda Song had sex with Joe Jonas!
Tween-dream sensations Brenda Song and her rumored boyfriend Joe Jonas, have revealed to me in a dream that they had had sex together, 7 months ago before Joe started dating Taylor Swift. The rumored couple reportedly want to be more honest to the...
Read full storyPresidential candidates gear up for the election with exclusive interviews
Recently president candidates Barrack Obama and John McCain sat down for an exlusive interview with The Spoof to discuss the battle for the White House. The one-on-one interviews are presented here in a special Q&A format. Democratic presidential candidate Barrack Obama. Perry: Hello Senator Obama. Thanks for sitting down for a few minutes to do this interview. Obama: Thank you. I'm m...
Read full storyLewis Hamilton Returns Home To Huge Crowd Of 6-Year-Olds
British Formula 1 racing driver, Lewis Hamilton, returned to the UK for the first time since he won the World Championship this morning, and was met at Heathrow Airport by a crowd of over 50 shouting, screaming, applauding 6-year-olds. Hamilton, w...
Read full storyObama Astonishing Vow To Create 'Civilian National Security Force'
Barack Obama at last reveals specifically his meaning of 'change': "We cannot continue to rely on our military ... We've got to have a civilian national security force that's just as powerful, just as strong, just as well-funded." When his speech is played backwards, a mysterious voice with a German accent can be heard chanting: "Turn me on, master plan -- Turn me on, master plan -- I burie...
Read full storyMancs Taking Over Humorous Websites Complains Scouser
'It's just not their forte,' a scouser said earlier this evening. 'Mancs just aren't naturally funny like us loveable scally scousers. They just don't get the humour because they're probably not all depressed and that. 'I must admit that I am getting a bit dizzy at the moment, what with our predominantly Spanish football team riding so high in the premiership and Senor Benitez occasionally goin...
Read full storyVanessa Hudgens "Hates" Ashley Tisdale
HSM fans never thought this day would come. Vanessa Hudgens had a revealing one-on-one interview with Star Magazine about her friendship with Ashley Tisdale: What are your thoughts on your best friend Ashley Tisdale? To tell you the truth, I never liked her. I know this sounds really surprising, but we faked our friendship. Ashley and I pretended to be friends for the sake of the High School...
Read full storyGordon Brown emulates Obama: black is back
In a last ditch effort to avert his painful decline in opinion polls, UK Prime Minister Gordon Brown has decided to go black face for the remaining tenure of his term in Downing Street. Having seen the effect of Barack Obama's popularity in the '...
Read full storyTerrorist found lurking under Capitol
In sensational news, authorities have arrested a foreign national who was in possession of numerous sticks of gelignite acting suspiciously in the basement of the Capitol building in Washington. The arrest occurred just as Barack Obama was claimi...
Read full storyRobert Mugabe declares USA elections null and void
Robert Mugabe, world-famous presidential person, upstanding Zimbabwean citizen and despot murderer has declared the USA presidential elections a complete sham and not worthy of the publicity they have received. In a sharply worded statement pinned...
Read full storyObama Performs First Miracle With French Fries And Fishes
Washington DC-- And so it came to pass that The One performed His first miracle on the first day of His Ascension. The Anointed One walked into the Mount Tabor Homeless Shelter on D Street. And He saw 5000 obese homeless people and He was humbled.
Read full storyBush exit will be a huge blow to comedians all over the world
With US presidential results declared, while the entire world is feeling relieved that the eight-year rule of George W Bush, marred by disastrous wars, massive foreign policy blunders and near-economic ruin of his nation is coming to an end, his exit has come as a huge blow to the ever-burgeoning tribe of stand-up comedians, cartoonists, jokesters, satirists, youtubers, anti-bush merchandisers, Jo...
Read full storyEnoch Powell to meet Obama!
As a result of the US elections today, the UK government has today announced that it is going to exhume the remains of Enoch Powell and make a full adult clone of him before January 2009 so that he can formally hand over the 'Whip Hand' to President...
Read full storyBarack Obama Counters John McCain 'Joe the Plumber' Speech With 'Bob the Builder' Speech
Democrat leader, and now 44th United States President, Barack Obama, trumped fallen opponent, John McCain, with an uplifting acceptance speech last night, with echoes of the Republican leader's own 'Joe the Plumber' speech. Obama, 47, who - in cas...
Read full storyObama's Welsh roots
In an astonishing and coincidental revelation today, it has been revealed that Pres. elect, Barack Obama has Welsh roots. The BBC revealed today that an upcoming episode of "Who do you think you are" featuring Shirley Bassey, has uncovered that Ba...
Read full storyWales Ban Plastic Bags
With news that Climate Change may destroy civilisation, and that rising oil prices may destroy civilisation and the credit crunch may destroy civilisation, the National Assembly of Wales said, after prayers, that it would tackle plastic bags first.
Read full storyRochdale "hub" of ET visitors
In the recently released 'UFO-Files' it has been revealed that Rochdale, in Lancashire, is the world centre of visits from other worlds. Between 1960 and 1980 a total of 2900 sightings have been made over the dull Manchester overspill. Whilst i...
Read full storyFDA Approves Aspartame for the Terminal
TRENTON, N.J. FDA spokesman Dr. Stangedeath announced today that aspartame is perfectly safe for the terminally ill. "There is no danger that it may cause the terminally ill to die any sooner. Thus, there is no danger of any economy stimulating...
Read full storyJedi to Jetsons - The Watering Down Of The Force
From Jedi to The Jetsons - The Watering Down Of The Force Sigh! Jedi Masters just ain't what they used to be! At one time they were of the caliber of Sir Alec Guiness, the original Obi-Wan Kenobi, a proven hero whose name had the extra fortific…
Read full storyBitch can't afford batteries for her vibrator due to bad economy
The current state of the economy is a major turnoff for 21-year-old local resident Jenna Buzzins. The freak used to go through two 8-packs of Energizer AAA batteries a week, and much like the Energizer Bunny, she'd keep going and going… Now she's for...
Read full storyLocal professor considered an arrogant prick by many
Indiana University professor Dr. Jack Roy Smithton is probably the most arrogant prick on campus. The snobby bastard has been known to glorify himself in lectures, speaking of himself as a so-called "expert" on any number of topics. He never fails to...
Read full storyOld booze hound forced to cut out early morning drives due to high gas prices
Bloomington resident Jethro "shot glass" Purvis used to drink a bottle of whiskey every morning at six, followed by a peaceful drive in his green and rust colored '89 Oldsmobile. Most of his drives were in rural areas at a slow speed. Now he can o...
Read full storyHigh Gas Prices turning everyone into stingy, real-life Monopoly Players
It appears the recent surge in gas prices have not only diminished people's checking accounts, but their personalities as well. People are increasingly becoming more selfish with their money, and in particular, their cars. My best friend of 10 yea...
Read full storyVampire suspected in case of missing blood
The Monroe County Blood Bucket Facility was robbed last night by a pale-skinned vampire just after midnight. The nocturnal thief stole every single container of Type A blood, leading authorities to believe the bloodsucker is in fact Type A himself. I...
Read full storyObama Thanks Ron Paul
President-elect Barack Obama thanked Republican Ron Paul late Tuesday night for helping him win the election. Obama attributed his win, in part, to Ron Paul's message. "It was the Constitution thing that did it for me," Obama said. Ron Paul had co...
Read full storyObama Wins Pennsylvania, DNN Projects
Leading cable news channel DNN projects that Barack Obama has won Pennsylvania. With nearly one percent of the vote counted, Obama has a 170 vote lead out of the 60,000 votes so far. "Using sophisticated statistical analysis, we can confidently pr...
Read full storyRichie Says Madonna Doesn't Flush
London - The public mudslinging between Madonna and Guy Richie took another turn for the worse today when Richie told The Telegraph that "Madonna Doesn't Flush." Richie says he knew of Madonna's problem when he met her but married her nonetheless.
Read full storyJoey Barton To Face New Disciplinary Charges
Joey Barton, the Newcastle United midfielder and ex-lag, is to be further disciplined after incidents in the Newcastle v. Aston Villa match on Monday, during which, the player spat, sneezed, coughed, cleared his throat, belched and farted. He was...
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