Written by Judge Retort

Wednesday, 5 November 2008

image for Obama Astonishing Vow To Create 'Civilian National Security Force'
Junior members of Obama's new "community organizer" secret service of altruistic druids.

Barack Obama at last reveals specifically his meaning of 'change':

"We cannot continue to rely on our military ... We've got to have a civilian national security force that's just as powerful, just as strong, just as well-funded."

When his speech is played backwards, a mysterious voice with a German accent can be heard chanting: "Turn me on, master plan -- Turn me on, master plan -- I buried Paul...von Hindenburg..."


Not to be outdone, John McCain was quick to respond: "Hey, I know how to put one of those together, too, you know! I've been around a long time -- heck, I taught young Adolf Hitler in Sunday school. And all his unruly little friends, too: Heinrich, Hermann, Joseph, Martin -- always talking out of turn and disrupting me, forming their little secret cabals and stealing the other kids strudel, and that awful Heinrich organizing the other kids into his first SS to report their parents sins. Sheesh! Anyway, I propose a civilian NATIONALIST SOCIALIST FORCE!"


"Oh, I dunno. I suppose we could use some sort o' civilian national security thingy to maybe look fer skiers after avalanches -- might not be as busy in the south, though. I'll talk t' Todd about it tonight while he's skinning the daily bear."


"Barack promised me that I get to run it! And all you who vote against us?? We've got your tax payer ID!"


"Yeah, I remember my first civilian national security force. Boy, those were the days! ... Lucifer, I need to be turned again -- I'm browning too much on this side..."


"Yah! Mein civilian national security force vas de shtart of mein Thousand Year Reich!! ... Lucifer, turn me again, you devilish dumpkopf -- I don't vant to brown - I'm an Aryan, you know!"


"Da! I remember my FIRST civilian national security force. Mine removed more dissidents than yours ever did, Adolf. And my SECOND civilian national security force removed even more, and even removed my FIRST civilian national security force. I was up to my 45th civilian national security force when that upstart Nikita removed me... Lucifer, I need to be turned again -- look, I've turned red!"

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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